It's Never Too Late
by mysticalforces
Summary: Alternate Universe. Melinda & Jim Collage Love Story. Summarry Inside:
1. Chapter 1

**It's Never Too Late**

**Summarry:** Alternate Universe. Melinda Gordan is beginning her first year of collage. She's a long way from home, trying to escape the past. She made a mistake once, and she doesn't think things will ever be the same for her. Jim Clancy is in his third year there. He is the campus resident advisor. From the first day he sees her, he can tell she's different from all the rest and has a story to tell. The question is...will she tell it to him?

***

Melinda Gordan pulled into the parking lot of her new home for the next four years.

She's from New York, and now here she is in sunny California.

She was an awful long way from home, but that's how she needed it to be sadly.

She got out of her car, and made her way to the registration desk at UC San Diego campus.

"Hi!" Said a girl full of cheery optimism that Melinda had once had. "What's your name?"

"Melinda Gordan." Melinda replied simply.

The girl seemed a bit put off by Melinda's unenthusiastic responce. "Okay....Um," the girl shuffled through some cards. "Oh, here!" The girl brightened. She always loved finding things. "Melinda Gordan. Oh, you're from New York?"

"Yeah," Melinda replied in the same dull life-less voice.

"Oh my God! I LOVE New York!" The girl gushed. "I went there once when I was a kid. Aw, it was so much--"

"Fun, yeah. I get it. So much fun," Melinda snapped. She saw the hurt look on the girl's face and sighed. Melinda was angry at the world right now, but this girl hadn't done anything to deserve her coldness. "I'm sorry. I....I pretty much hate my life right now, and you seem to love yours...and well, it kinda ticks me off with jealousy to tell you the truth," Melinda said bluntly.

The girl softened. "Oh, well I'm sorry. You're in the right place for cheering up though! UC San Diego is wonderful."

Melinda smiled slightly. "Thanks, but I don't think the cheering up's gonna happen," Melinda took the card from the girl and turned to walk away.

"Melinda!" The girl called after her.

Melinda hesitantly turned around.

"I'm Becky." Becky smiled. "I round everyone in, and tell them where they need to be. I'm on the second year here. Um, whatever happened to you to make you so sad, I'm sure it can be healed with time."

Melinda just shook her head. "Becky, something happened that forever changed me. I'm never gonna be the same," Melinda turned back around to walk away.

"Melinda!" The girl called out again. "You're gonna wanna go to Room 12, on the fifth floor."

"What's there?" Melinda asked without turning around.

"Our Resident Advisor. Everyone has to check in with him." Becky said.

Melinda just kept on walking.

_Yay_, Melinda thought glumly. _Another stupid face I have to meet. More cheeriness to swallow_, Melinda almost gagged at the idea. She just wanted to go to her dorm and lie down and just never wake up again.

***

A few minutes later, she made her way up to the RA's office.

She sighed and took a deep breath. "Lets get this over with," She muttered.

Melinda knocked on the door.

"It's open!" She heard a male voice say from inside.

Melinda hesitantly opened the door.

A young male that looked to be about three or four years older than her looked up at smiled warmly at her. "Hi. I don't think we've met. Come on in,"

"Um, I'm good right here," Melinda responded from her spot at his doorway. "I'm supposed to meet you or something? I'm new here."

Jim was a little bit put off by her attitude, but just shrugged it off as nerves. Collage scared everyone. "Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm the resident advisor here. My name is Jim Clancy."

Clancy, A shudder went through Melinda. It was that name that she came here to forget about....

_"Clancy Adams!" Melinda shrieked happily. "This is gonna be the best time of our lives!"_

_"You know it, Gordan!" _

Tears stung Melinda's eyes.

"Are you okay?" Jim asked concerned.

Melinda slowly backed out of his doorway. "I need...." A tear rolled down Melinda's face. "I need to go. I'm so sorry."

Jim followed her and gently grabbed her arm. "Hey," Jim's voice was gentle and soothing. "why don't you come inside my office for a little bit, okay? You look like you need someone to talk to."

Melinda laughed bitterly through her tears. "Oh, talking makes it worse! It makes it real." Melinda covered her face with her hand, as more tears rolled down her face.

Jim looked at her with empathy. Whatever it was, it looked like it was breaking this girl apart. He knew from experience that you couldn't bottle stuff up, it'd only hurt you in the long run. "I know you don't know me, and this probably seems uncomfortable for you. Is there anyone that you do know here?"

Melinda shook her head.

"Well, look. I can't just let you walk out of here as upset as you are." Jim told her gently. "Do you wanna just come in my office and I could call someone from home for you?"

More tears rolled down Melinda's face. "There's no one you can call for me, okay? I can't believe I'm even telling you this, but everyone back home hates me. There is no one."

"I'm sure that's not true," Jim replied. He did feel bad for this girl though. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to feel so alone in the world and have no one to call.

"It is," Melinda insisted. "It was my fault. My stupid mistake. I'm stuck in this mess by myself. I did this to myself. Now, please let go of me. It's embarrassing enough that I'm crying my eyes out in front of a complete stranger."

"What's your name?" Jim asked kindly.

"Melinda Gordan," Melinda choked out.

"Okay," Jim said simply. "You're Melinda Gordan, and I'm Jim Clancy. Your resident advisor," Jim smiled at her. "I'm not a stranger anymore. You can talk to me."

"Okay," Melinda spoke through her tears. "but is this like confidental?"

Jim smiled warmly at her. "Anything you say to me will never leave this room. I'd like to be your friend,"

Melinda nodded. "Okay,"

Jim put an arm around Melinda's shoulder and led her into his office.

"So, this is your dorm room and your office?" Melinda asked.

"Yeah," Jim nodded. "my room's bigger than the others cause of all the counceling I do in here. You can have a seat on the bed. Do you want any soda or anything?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks," Melinda said. "I'm sorry, Jim...I don't think I can talk about this."

"That's okay," Jim said. "you don't have to talk if you don't want to. You can just sit here and take the time to collect yourself. You can tell me anything you want to. You don't even have to tell me the whole story. Just," Jim reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "tell me why you're crying,"

Melinda didn't say anything and for a few minutes she just continued to silently cry.

Jim didn't say anything. He didn't try to hug her, he didn't try to invade her space. He just sat across from her and patiently waited until she was ready to begin speaking.

"Someone died," Melinda spoke after a few minutes. "and it was my fault,"

"You were close with this person?" Jim asked her softly.

Melinda let a watery smile out. "He was the best. He was like a brother to me, and my bestfriend loved him so much."

Jim nodded. "My brother died,"

Melinda looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. "I'm so sorry,"

"I was very close with him and it hurt like hell when I lost him," Jim replied, his eyes stricken. "He got involved in a bad fight...one of the kids turned the knife on him and he bled out." Tears were glistening in Jim's eyes. "He died right in my arms....I've never told anyone that before."

"Clancy..." Melinda looked up at Jim. "that was his name. Clancy Adams."

"Oh," Jim looked at her sorrowfully. "that's why you started crying when I told you my last name,"

Melinda nodded. "He died in a car accident, and everyone blames me. It was my fault. I was stupid,"

"How was it your fault, Melinda?" Jim asked her gently.

"Because I let him drive," Melinda could feel tears entering her eyes again. "I let him drive drunk."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

***

"I let him drive drunk," Melinda whispered.

"Melinda," Jim's voice was soft and his eyes were unjudging.

"I didn't know!" Melinda sobbed. "I didn't know that he was so wasted!"

"Hey, hey," Jim's voice was soothing, and he gently took her hand in his. "it's okay. I'm not judging you. I'm sure it was an accident."

"It was!" Melinda sobbed. "We, we..."

"Try to calm down, okay?" Jim's voice remained soft and soothing. "Just take a few breaths, and collect your thoughts. We can stay here for as long as you need to. I'm not going anywhere."

Melinda nodded and sobbed for a few minutes, than started to talk again. "It was a party for our upcoming graduation. We were all so excited. It was being held at Clancy's house," Melinda took a deep breath. "We were drinking. My friends always drank and drove. I did once, but I only had one drink and it was because someone needed a ride home."

"I'm not judging you, " Jim repeated assuringly.

"Jack had called. He was Clancy's best friend. If you knew Clancy, you'd know that he was the kinda guy you could call at four in the morning and no matter what as going on, whether he was sleeping or drunk out of his mind, he'd be there for you." Melinda continued.

"Sounds like a good guy," Jim said softly. "I'm sorry you lost him."

"Thanks," Melinda whispered. "Everyone had put there keys in a jar and I was in charge of it. I was the only one there that hadn't had more than four drinks. Clancy came up to me, and he asked me for his keys...."

_"Mel," Clancy walked up to Melinda. "I need my keys."_

_Melinda was slightly buzzed from the vodka and shook her head with a laugh. "No way, Clancy Adams! You are WASTED!"_

_Clancy laughed right along with her. "I am not wasted, babe! I only had one drink. And besides...if I was wasted, you'd know it."_

_Melinda was hesitant. "I don't know....you swear to me you only had one?"_

_  
"Cross my heart!" Clancy smiled._

_"You're not dizzy or anything?" Melinda continued._

_"Mel, I am fine!" Clancy laughed at her overprotectiveness. "You just love being everyone's mother, don't ya?"_

_Melinda hit him in his shoulder. "Hey! I resent that! Who are you going to see anyway?"_

_"Jack called. He needs a lift." Clancy looked at her with puppy dog eyes. "You wouldn't want one of our friends to miss our party now would ya?"_

_"Damn you and those puppy eyes, Clancy!" Melinda scolded. "Ugh! Alright," Melinda tosses him his keys. "here! Drive safely! You know Caitlin would never forgive me if something happened to you."_

_"I'll be right back, Mel." Clancy just smiled at her and walked out the door._

"I gave him his keys," Melinda moaned in deep regret. "I gave him his KEYS, Jim! He'd still be here if I wouldn've just said no."

"It's not your fault, Melinda," Jim replied his eyes showing nothing but great empathy. "He lied to you. You couldn't have known that he was so wasted."

"I knew he'd been DRINKING!" Melinda carried on in self-blame. "They gave so many lectures on drinking and driving and my friends would always make jokes about it. That kind of thing...it just didn't happen to us. Then, it did. It happened. Clancy died, and Jack died. Caitlin hated me for it." Melinda wiped tears off her face. "Everyone did...."

_"What happened?!"_

_Melinda looked over and saw her bestfriend, Caitlin Morgan stalking up to her. "Cait..."_

_"What happened to Clancy?" Caitlin demanded. "Is he okay?"_

_Melinda shook her head, tears falling down her face. "I'm so sorry, Cait. He's dead."_

_Caitlin's hand flew up to her mouth in grief. "No!" Caitlin whimpered. "How...how did this happen?"_

_"He was driving," Melinda shook her head, she'd never forgive herself for this. "it was raining hard and I guess he didn't see the semi."_

_Caitlin put her hand over her heart. "Semi? Wh....why the hell was he driving?! He had six shots with me! Who...who would give him his keys?!"_

_"I did," Melinda said softly. _

_"You did?!" Caitlin looked at Melinda enraged. "What the HELL were you THINKING, Melinda?!"_

_Melinda started crying again. "I don't know. I'm so sorry, Caitlin. He said he'd only had one, and he needed to get Jack..."_

_Caitlin slapped Melinda hard across the face. "You should've gotten ME!" Caitlin screamed. "God, why are you so stupid?!"_

_"Caitlin," Melinda was sobbing. "you will never know how horrible I feel about..."_

_"Just shut up!" Caitlin spat coldly. "Just shut the hell up! Where's Jack?"_

_Melinda didn't answer her, she just sobbed even more._

_"Jack's dead TOO?!" Caitlin shrieked. "God, Melinda! You..." Caitlin shoved her once best friend into the wall. "I can't even LOOK AT YOU!"_

_"Caitlin, Please!" Melinda whimpered._

_"I HATE you!" Caitlin screamed. "You killed the man I love and one of our dearest friends with one careless mistake! I will NEVER forgive you for this!"_

"Melinda," Jim's gentle voice brought her out of the past. "I am so sorry."

"Everyone else was pretty much like Caitlin," Melinda continued, her voice raw with emotion. "I went back to school and I got alot of the same confrontations. Some of them wouldn't even look at me. And the teachers....Oh, the teachers just looked at me with disgust and shame. I think some of them felt sorry for me, but no one really talked to me. Everyone loved Clancy and Jack. They all viewed me as their murderer."

"Melinda, this was not your fault." Jim told her. "You couldn't have known. I'm sure Caitlin will come around some day...it's hard when you lose someone you love."

"Thanks, Jim." Melinda said softly. "I don't think she ever will though. She hates me. I didn't attend graduation because my mother didn't think it was appropriate."

"Mel," Jim's heart broke for her. "your mother wasn't there for you either?"

"No," Melinda shook her head. "she said she was ashamed for me. She told me that I needed to move out right away because she couldn't take looking at me anymore, knowing what she did."

"Melinda, I don't know if this is going to mean anything to you, but....if I had known you, if I had been one of your friends...I wouldn't have turned on you." Jim told her gently and with sincerity. "I would have stood by you, and I would've told everyone that you just made mistake. You couldn't have known what would happen. You're not responcible for other people's decisions. Clancy knew he was drunk and Clancy knew that he was putting Jack's life in jeopardy by picking him up. Your mother....I just can't believe she can be a mother and turn her back on you so coldly and with such finality like that."

"You don't....you don't think it's my fault?" Melinda asked in a disbelieving voice.

Jim shook his head. "No, Mel. I do not think it was your fault. I know it wasn't. I'm sorry that the whole world has made you feel like it was. I'm sorry about the circumstances that brought you here, but I'm not sorry you're here. I really think we can be good friends, and I'll never let you down like everyone else did. I think UC San Diego is gonna be really good for you. You'll make other friends too, I know it."

Melinda reached out and threw her arms around Jim tightly. "Thank you," Melinda whispered against him.

"You're welcome," Jim held her back. "Everything's gonna be fine. You just have to give yourself some time is all."

Melinda pulled back. "I came here with every intent to forget that awful night, and you pull it out of me in half an hour. How do you do that?"

"I think somewhere deep inside of you, you knew that I would understand. You knew that you could tell your story to me with no judging or conviction." Jim replied.

"Well, if you ever wanna talk about your brother....I'm here too." Melinda said.

Jim's eyes misted. "Thank you, Melinda. I appriciate that. I've put him to rest though. He's always with me, right inside my heart."

Melinda nodded. "Maybe one day I can say the same about Clancy." Melinda got up and went for the door. "I think I'm gonna go find my dorm and take a long nap."

"You want me to help you find it?" Jim asked her. "This building is pretty huge. I'm surprised you found me."

Melinda pulled her card out and showed it to Jim.

"Oh, wow." Jim said surprised. "You're room's right across from mine."

Melinda smiled. "That's something."

"I meant what I said though." Jim told her. "Anytime you need to talk, I'm right here. I'm your friend."

"I'm your friend too," Melinda said. "I guess I'll see you later."

"See you later," Jim waved her off with a warm smile.

Jim shut his door, and went and sat at his desk.

"Did you send her to me, Dan?" Jim asked aloud. One thing was for sure....he was glad regardless that he had met her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

***

Melinda walked into her dorm room, and about fainted at who she saw.

"Hi, Mel!"

"Caitlin," Melinda was stunned. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," Caitlin began with a pout. "You left Grandview so suddenly. You didn't even come to graduation,"

"Caitlin, you know you didn't want me there." Melinda replied.

"You're right, Melinda." Caitlin said with hatred. "I DIDN'T want you there. You know what ELSE I didn't WANT?" Caitlin stepped closer and closer to Melinda, til she was right up in her face. "I didn't WANT my BOYFRIEND to be DEAD! But guess what! He is! You did that! You killed him!"

Melinda couldn't take this. This was exactly why she'd left Grandview. "Caitlin, I am sorry for what happened. I will be for the rest of my life, but....I can't keep letting you do this to me. God...you're acting like I was driving the damn car!"

"You might as well have been!" Caitlin shot nastily.

"Oh!" Melinda ran a hand through her hair angrily. "That is IT! GET OUT!" Melinda yelled at her former friend.

"I'm not going anywhere, Melinda!" Caitlin said cheerily. "I'm your new roommate!"

"What?!"

"That's right," Caitlin smiled gleefully. "I decided I needed a change of scenery myself and I went ahead and enrolled here. I mentioned that you and I were best buds back in the day....so, here I am."

Melinda put her hand to her head. Oh, her head hurt. She couldn't believe this was happening. "I...I need some air."

Melinda turned and walked out the door.

"You'll be back!" Caitlin yelled after her. "And I'll be waiting!"

Oh, yes. Caitlin was gonna make Melinda Gordan sorry that she ever wrecked her life.

***

Melinda found herself across the hall at Jim's door.

Melinda sighed and knocked.

"Hey, Mel." Jim greeted warmly, when he opened the door. "Did you forget something?"

"I've got a huge problem." Melinda said. "I know I've bothered you enough already, but I really need your help."

"Hey, you haven't bothered me." Jim assured her. "That's just what friends do. Come in, tell me what's up."

Melinda walked in the door, and sat back over on his bed. "I have a roommate, and I cannot stay with her for the next four years. I'm sorry, Jim. I will wind up cutting my wrist."

Jim looked at her concerned. "I thought you didn't know anybody here."

"Well," Melinda replied with a grimance. "someone decided to FOLLOW me here."

"Someone from back home?" Jim asked her curiously. "Who?"

"Caitlin." Melinda replied angrily.

"Caitlin..." Jim was stunned. "The girl who was so mean to you? Did she come to make amends?"

"No," Melinda shook her head. "she's made it quite clear that she still hates me for what happened. She even said that I might as well have driven the car!"

Jim sighed and shook his head. "Mel, I am so sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with that."

"I can't deal with it, Jim." Melinda shook her head, tears entering her eyes. "I came here to start over. I can't take comments like that on a regular basis. I'm not strong enough."

"You'll just stay here, okay?" Jim said. "It's a big room, and I've got plenty of space. Just stay here until we can get this whole thing resolved. If she's here to make trouble for you, she'll bury her ownself. Types like that always do."

Melinda just nodded. "I don't wanna invade your space...."

Jim shook his head and smiled at her. "You're not invading anything, okay? I offered. I wouldn't have suggested it, if I wasn't okay with it. You're my friend now, Melinda. I'm not gonna watch you be in distress and do nothing. That's just not who I am."

"Thank you, Jim." Melinda said gratefully. "This means so much to me. Your friendship means so much to me."

"Your friendship means alot to me too, Melinda." Jim replied. "You know, you're the first person I've ever told about my brother. I told you cause you just...you made me feel like it was safe too. I wanna make you feel that way too. I want us to be able to share anything. I'm here for you. All you have to do is ask."

"Can you make her go away?" Melinda asked hopefully.

Jim chuckled. "I wish I could, babe."

Melinda looked stunned. "What did you just call me?"

"Oh, sorry." Jim said. "I didn't mean anything by...."

"No, no." Melinda shook her head and smiled. "It's fine. Just....been awhile since someone's called me that."

Jim smiled at her gently, and knelt down in front of her. "You wanna take a nap like you were going to? I can go down and get your stuff for you and bring it back up here."

Melinda smiled at Jim. She couldn't believe how great of a friend he was turning out to be. "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because," Jim replied softly. "you deserve someone to be good to you."

Melinda reached out and touched his face, and then pulled back.

"Get some rest," Jim smiled at her. "I'll be back with your stuff."

"My door's unlocked, you just gotta pop the trunk," Melinda called out sleepily as she curled up on his bed and fell asleep.

Jim stood there for a few seconds, watching her sleep.

He thought that she looked like an angel.

Jim vowed to himself right then and there, that he would make this girl's life better.

Jim silently closed the door, and walked across the hall and knocked on the door.

"Do I know you?" Caitlin asked snobbishly.

"No, but we know someone." Jim replied. "I need to talk to you about Melinda."

"Ugh," Caitlin groaned. "Don't tell me you actually fall for her act."

"Hey!" Jim yelled at her. "You're not gonna hurt her anymore. She's been through enough. She will never forgive herself for what happened."

"Well, she shouldn't!" Caitlin shot. "She killed the only man I ever loved."

"No, Clancy did that." Jim replied.

"God she even told you his name! Look, Melinda's gonna get what's coming to her. She broke me, and now I'm gonna break her." Caitlin glared at him spitefully. "Now, you can either JOIN me, and make her pay....or you can just get the FUCK out of my way and be run down as a casualty. It's your call."

"You're an awful person." Jim said with disgust. "I bet Clancy is rolling over in his grave at what his girlfriend has become."

Caitlin slapped Jim across the face hard. "Clancy LOVED me!" Caitlin spat. "I LOVED him! This is FOR him! So, I guess you're not gonna help me hurt Melinda?"

Jim rolled his eyes at her. "You got one right," Jim turned to walk away, and than turned back. "whatever you're planning on doing to Melinda....just know it has consequences. I'm the RA. I see everything." With that Jim walked away, leaving Caitlin to stare after him in wonderment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

***

The next morning, Melinda woke up feeling more rested than in a long time.

"Hey," Jim smiled as he walked in the door. "I was coming in to wake you actually. How'd you sleep?"

"Good." Melinda smiled. "Thank you again so much for letting me stay here."

Jim waved it off. "Not a problem, Mel. I'm happy to help you."

Melinda got up out of bed. "I guess I better get ready for my first class."

"You sound so excited about that too," Jim replied sarcastically.

Melinda sighed. "That obvious, huh? I just...with Caitlin here, I don't trust anything to go right. I have this huge feeling deep in my gut that she's just waiting for me to leave this room....leave this floor. It scares me to death."

Jim went over to her and pulled her into a hug. "It's gonna be okay, Mel. I actually already kind of talked to her..."

Melinda pushed out of his arms, alarm all over her face. "You what?! Oh, God...Jim, I love you for that, but you really shouldn't have done that."

"I hated the thought of you being in so much distress," Jim said. "I couldn't just stand back and do nothing. It's just not how I treat my friends when they need help. I'm sorry to say that I don't think it did any good."

"Big shocker there," Melinda said sarcastically. "I told you she hated me."

"She's an awful person, Melinda." Jim said seriously. "I tried to scare her by pulling rank, but I think that just pissed her off more. I don't want you to worry though, I'll do whatever I need to, to make sure she doesn't get out of hand."

"Good luck with that," Melinda replied. "I've known Caitlin almost all of my life. If the girl wants something to happen, it always happens. And God help whoever gets in her way."

"Well, I can be a force to be reckoned with too." Jim said teasingly.

Melinda smiled. "Really? You? Jim Clancy, the guy who opens up his dorm to the first crying girl he sees....that guy can be mean?"

"Well, I wouldn't say mean....but I can make something happen just as easily as the next person." Jim replied. "It's all gonna work out, Mel. You just gotta trust me."

"It's weird, but I do." Melinda smiled. "I've only known you for like two days, but I do trust you. You tell me that you're gonna make everything alright, and I believe you."

"I'll never give you a reason not to." Jim told her.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go change now." Melinda said, and she went over and picked up three outfits. "Okay, this may get to be weirder, but what do you think I should wear?"

"Um..." Jim raised his eyebrow at her. "You do realize I'm a guy, right?"

Melinda smiled. "Right. I told you it was weird. I was kind of counting on having a girl roommate..."

Jim just smiled. "Okay, okay. I'll do it just this once, but word better not get out," Jim said, pointing a teasing finger at her.

Melinda teasingly bowed to him. "Oh, I swear!"

Jim laughed. "Okay, go with the black skirt and the white blouse."

Melinda laughed. "Okay, now I KNOW you're a guy."

Jim smiled. "Oh, really? What gave it away?"

"You picked the most low-cut outfit in my hand," Melinda replied with a smirk.

"Well, it.....it does look more business like!" Jim said defensively.

"Yeah, sure. Business like," Melinda said teasingly. "cause that's what a guy automatically goes for in a girl."

"I'm sorry," Jim replied. "are you looking for an outfit to wear to class or to pick up a guy? Cause if it's the latter, than I'd go with the red one."

Melinda laughed slightly. "Uh, no. Definetly not looking for a guy. I'm done with those."

"Aw, don't say that." Jim replied with a soft smile.

"Seriously....do you know how hard it is to find a guy who's sweet, and nice...and who actually cares about how you feel?" Melinda asked.

"Well, we are a rare breed." Jim replied.

Melinda playfully slapped him. "Stop it! I'm being serious here. The last guy I went out with, turned out to be a criminal. I'm just....I'm done with it all. Guys lie to you and than expect you to be okay with it. I'm just so not okay with it. Ya know?"

"Do you?" Jim retorted.

Melinda laughed. "Okay, I realize that I just told you half of a story and you have no idea what I'm talking about. I just...I don't wanna be with someone who's just gonna lie to me and break my heart."

Jim's face softened. "I understand that. I'm sorry that you've been hurt before."

Melinda just shrugged her shoulders. "It's alright. I got over it. I just don't wanna have to get over it again, ya know?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah, I do know."

"Well," Melinda laughed. "now that I've talked your head off, confused you beyond belief AND treated you like a gay roommate," Jim laughed at that. "I THINK I'll be getting changed now."

"Just out of curiosity, which one are you gonna wear?" Jim asked.

"The first one," Melinda smiled.

Jim just smiled, and Melinda went into the bathroom to change.

A half hour later, she came out, in the black skirt and the white blouse. Her hair was crimped, and she had makeup on.

"So, this is what it's like to room with a girl?" Jim asked.

"I guess so," Melinda replied.

"Hmm, okay." Jim said simply. "But if you're gonna take a half hour in the bathroom every morning, I only ask that I go first."

Melinda smiled. "And why is that?"

Jim gave her a look like it was obvious. "Well, for starters...I only take two minutes!"

Melinda just laughed. "Yeah, okay. That sounds fair."

"Want me to walk you to class?" Jim offered.

"What are you, my boyfriend now?" Melinda accused.

Jim gave her a surprised look. "Well, um.."

Melinda laughed and lightly slapped his arm. "I am JUST joking with you!"

Jim laughed, he felt slightly disappointed in some way. "Right, I knew that!"

Melinda just smirked at him. "Uh-huh. I'll take you up on your offer though."

"Okay," Jim opened the door for her.

A few minutes later, they'd made it outside the campus, to go to the next building.

Both Jim and Melinda froze at what they saw.

On almost every single tree in the yard, there were posters of Melinda with the word "Murderer" written in big red letters.

"Oh my god," Jim said quietly.

Melinda turned around, and was about to run off, but Jim quickly caught her hand. "Jim, please. I can't go to class now."

"You're right," Jim replied. "you can't go to class now." Tears rolled down Melinda's face, and Jim gently wiped them away. "We gotta go to the dean's. C'mon."

"I just...I need to go, okay?" Melinda cried.

"Look, I understand that you're upset right now, Mel." Jim said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "But the longer we wait, the worse it'll..."

"No," Melinda interuppted him. "You don't get it. I need to leave UC San Diego. This was just a huge mistake."

Jim frowned at her. "Mel, no. You can't just leave. That's exactly what she wants."

Melinda laughed bitterly. "Well, what did I tell you? What Caitlin wants, she always gets."

"Well, not this time!" Jim said angrily. "You cannot leave. You can't just run away everytime things get a little tough, alright?"

Melinda glared at him. "A 'little' tough? The last time I left it was because I made someone...no, TWO people die!"

Jim glared back at her. "You did not MAKE those two people die, Mel! They made a choice, and it's sad what happened, but it was on them. You have to stop blaming yourself. I think you're just doing this because you're afraid that you could actually make real friends here and that scares you."

"Why would that scare me?" Melinda asked.

"Because, you're scared to be vulnerable again." Jim replied. "You're scared to open yourself up again, but you don't have to be. I'm not like Caitlin or any of the other friends that you've had in your life. If I tell you, I'm your friend for life, than I'm your friend for life. There are no conditions or stipulations."

Melinda threw herself in his arms. "You're right." Jim wrapped his arms around her. "You're right, Jim. I am scared. I just...I don't know if I have the strength to keep on facing this."

"Well, you don't have to do it alone." Jim whispered softly in her hair. "I'm right here with you. I promise."

Melinda nodded against him. "I know. That's why I'm not half-way to China by now."

Jim laughed softly, and gently pulled back. "We gotta go to the dean."

Melinda nodded. "Okay, okay."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

***

"So, that went really great!" Melinda yelled, outrage written all over her face.

"It's gonna be alright," Jim repeated to her for like the fifth time in twenty minutes.

"It's gonna be alright?!" Melinda snapped at him. "Caitlin is getting away with this!"

Jim reached out and gently pulled her into his arms, but she shoved at him. "No!" Melinda yelled. "I don't wanna he hugged right now, Jim!"

Jim sighed. "I'm sorry, Mel. I honestly didn't think this could happen."

Melinda's eyes softened. "No, I'm sorry. I just...I'm so angry right now. When I'm angry, I just...I don't wanna be held."

Jim nodded. "I understand."

"What am I supposed to do now, Jim? Am I supposed to just wait for more of Caitlin's cruelty?" Melinda asked helplessly. "Cause you better believe, there's more. I know her well enough to know that she is just getting warmed up."

Jim sighed just as angry as Melinda. "It's ridiculous, Mel. The dean won't do anything because there's no proof that Caitlin did this. Only you and I know that she did do it though. We'll just have to keep watching her, alright? She'll slip up. They always slip up."

"Caitlin's not your typical dilinquit," Melinda replied. "she's smarter than most. She's not the type to get caught."

"Hey, listen to me." Jim said firmly. "We're not gonna let her win, okay? She will eventually get hers. I promise you that."

"I hate that I've dragged you into this as well," Melinda said guitily.

"Hey," Jim shook his head firmly. "you didn't drag me into anything."

"If you keep on hanging out with me and sticking up for me, than she'll just turn her rage on you as well." Melinda explained. "I don't want you to have to deal with that. It's not fair to you. I should just leave now."

"Why don't you let me decide what's fair to me, okay?" Jim replied. "Friendship isn't just about the good times, it's about the bad times too. And you can't leave, Mel."

"Why not?" Melinda asked. "It would make everything so much easier."

"The only person it'd make it easier on is you," Jim stated harshly.

"Jim," Melinda replied somewhat hurt at his tone.

"No," Jim said firmly, holding his hand up. "I don't want you going anywhere, okay? It's not fair to anyone. You'd be letting Caitlin win way too easily. I know somewhere deep down, you don't want that." Jim gave her a small smile. "Besides, I've kind of gotten used to having a girl roommate."

Melinda laughed. "I'll bet you have."

Jim smiled. "Seriously though, Melinda. We're friends now. Friends don't let other friends make huge mistakes that they'll regret forever. I'm not gonna let you do this. You mean that much to me."

"What if I don't listen to you? What if I just walk away, and drive off?" Melinda asked.

"I'd just follow you." Jim said simply.

Melinda laughed. "Oh, you would not!"

"You wanna test me and find out?" Jim replied. "I would follow you wherever you went, and I would stalk you until you realized that you made a mistake."

"You would stalk me?" Melinda laughed.

Jim just shrugged. "Like I said, it's what friends do."

"Friends stalk each other now?" Melinda teased.

Jim smiled. "You know what I mean. So, if you wanna leave, leave. Just know, you won't be able to escape from here as easily as you did back home."

"Fine, I won't leave." Melinda smiled.

Jim put his arm around Melinda's shoulders. "See? I knew I'd convince ya."

Melinda laughed. "Well, what can I say? The stalking thing kinda made me see the light."

Jim laughed. "Mel, it'll all turn out okay. You'll see."

Melinda sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I really hope you're right, cause I don't know how much I can take of this before I break."

Jim gently kissed her forehead. "You're stronger than you think."

"Aw, isn't this sweet?"

Jim and Melinda quickly turned around at the menacing voice.

"Caitlin," Melinda acknowledged in disgust.

"Mel, I think it's just so SWEET that you've found such a great guy!" Caitlin gushed, and than turned to Jim. "And you....well, I hope you know what you're in for with this one."

Jim tightened his arm protectively around Melinda. "And what would that be?"

"Well," Caitlin began with false sweetness. "if you should get drunk around her, she'll happily move you into oncoming traffic without a second thought."

"You b*tch!" Melinda swore, lunging at her, but Jim quickly grabbed her waist, holding her back. "No! Let me go!"

"Wow!" Caitlin laughed. "I didn't realize you had such a back bone, Mel!"

"Yeah, well things have changed!" Melinda grounded out angrily. "And so have I!"

Jim continued to hold on tightly to Melinda. "Mel," Jim whispered firmly. "you don't wanna do this. This is just what she wants. The dean here is pretty strict....if you assault her, you could get expelled."

"Fine, fine!" Melinda yelled, but Jim still didn't release her. "I'm fine, Jim!" Melinda lowered her voice slightly, but it still held an edge to it. "Seriously, you can let me go. I'll be fine."

Jim reluctantly let go of her. "Just keep your cool."

"I saw the posters, Mel." Caitlin continued on in fake sympathy. "It must be so hard for you!"

Melinda didn't say anything, she just continued to glare at her.

"I mean," Caitlin went on. "to have everyone here know about how you're responcible for two people dying! It must horribl--"

Melinda lunged at her and shoved her to the ground. "You hateful b*tch!"

Jim quickly grabbed Melinda, pulling her off of Caitlin before she could punch her. "Okay, okay. Simmer down, alright?"

Melinda struggled against him. "Let go, let go. I'm fine."

Jim shook his head. "No can do, Mel. We already tried that, you clearly can't contain yourself. I'm not about to let you self-destruct yourself out of school."

"Aw, it must be so NICE to have someone watching your back like that, Mel." Caitlin said sweetly, as she got up off the ground, brushing dirt off of her.

"You know what it is," Melinda responded. "What's it like to have no one watching yours?"

Caitlin glared at her furiously. "You b*tch!"

Caitlin lunged for her, but Jim quickly moved Melinda out of Caitlin's reach. "Okay, okay!" Jim yelled. "Enough! You two are NOT gonna do this." Caitlin moved to lung at Melinda again, and Jim reached out to slightly push Caitlin away. "ENOUGH! Caitlin, we're not idiots. We know what you did. You made those posters of Mel, to try and hurt her. We may not be able to prove it just yet, but if you keep on with this vendetta, rest assured we will." Jim promised.

"I didn't do this," Caitlin replied. "I'd watch it if I were you though, Mel."

"I wouldn't threaten her if I were you," Jim replied with a hard tone.

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "As I was saying....if I didn't do this, than you better be figuring out who did. I mean, it's only a matter of time before you're brought down."

Caitlin turned and walked away.

Melinda slipped out of Jim's grasp, and began running after her.

"MELINDA!" Jim screamed after her, he ran and caught up with her, and grabbed her a little too roughly around the waist. "I am NOT kidding! If you assault her, you could get kicked out! Than, there's nothing I could do to help you."

"So, she just gets away with this?!" Melinda snapped, as she continued to struggle against his hold.

"No," Jim replied calmly. "it means we just let her THINK she's gotten away with this." Jim gently released his hold on her and grabbed her hand in his. "C'mon."

"Where are we going?" Melinda asked confused.

"You're far too pissed off right now to go to any classes," Jim responded. "and I'm not gonna risk you running into her again and having a little one on one. I'm taking you out for a drink. You need one, and I think I need one too."

"Fine," Melinda sighed. "I'll go with you, but if she makes one more snide remark to me----"

"You'll calm down, and look the other way," Jim told her firmly with a gentle smile. "Caitlin's not worth this, Mel. You're gonna have to be the bigger person in this unfortunately. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm not always gonna be around to keep you two kids apart on the playground." Jim gently brushed her hair out of her face. "I do have classes too, ya know."

Melinda sighed. "I know. I'm sorry."

Jim shook his head and gently kissed her forehead. "Don't worry about it, babe. We'll figure this out."

Jim lead Melinda to his car, and the two drove off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

***

"So, you brought me to a bar," Melinda said unenthusiastically.

"Hey, why so glum?" Jim asked. "I told you I was taking you out for a drink."

"Jim, I'm only nineteen." Melinda whispered.

Jim rolled his eyes. "You're young, so I forget how naive you can be."

Melinda glared at him sharply. "Excuse me?!"

"They don't care, alright?" Jim smiled. "I'm friends with the owner. They let anybody in that I decide to bring with me."

"You've brought other girls with you?" Melinda didn't know why that bothered her, but for some reason it did.

Jim shook his head. "No, you're the first girl I've brought here actually. I usually bring a bunch of my buddies."

Melinda smiled. "That makes me feel so special."

Jim just laughed. "Like I said, I thought you could use a drink."

Melinda looked down at the drink sitting infront of her.

"It's a washington apple," Jim told her.

"Never heard of it," Melinda replied.

"You'll like it. It's got a kick to it though," Jim smiled.

Melinda picked it up and quickly downed it in one swoop.

Jim lifted his eye-brow at her. "I am impressed."

Melinda just shrugged. "I've been to quite a few keg parties in my time. I know how to shoot my liquer."

"So, I see," Jim replied.

_Journey's "Midnight Train", began playing._

_Just a small town girl_

_Livin in a lonely world_

_She took a midnight train going anywhere_

"Oh my God!" Melinda laughed.

"What?" Jim asked.

"Journey. I cannot believe this bar is playing Journey!" Melinda replied.

Jim laughed with her. "You like Journey?"

"Oh, I Love them!" Melinda smiled. "This song brings back so many memories...so many happier times."

_Just a city boy_

_Born and raised in South Detroit_

_He took the midnight train going anywhere_

"Oh!" Melinda laughed. "Are you bopping your head to Journey?"

"Hey," Jim said defensively. "You said, you loved them!"

"But, I'm a girl," Melinda pointed out.

"Okay, I'll give you that," Jim smiled. "My parents were huge Journey fans. I was raised on them."

_A singer in a smokey room_

_The smell of wine and cheap purfume_

_For a smile, they can share the night_

_It goes on and on and on and on_

"Strangers, waiting! Up and down the bouelvard!" Melinda sang.

"You're singing now!" Jim laughed at her.

"There's no one else in here," Melinda replied with a small blush. "I just think you're jealous cause you don't know the words, Jim Clancy."

Jim lifted his eye-brow at her. "I so know the words!"

_Their shadows searching in the night_

_Streetlight people_

_Living just to find emotion_

_Hiding somewhere in the night_

"Prove it to me," Melinda smirked. "C'mon, sing with me."

Jim laughed. "I am NOT singing Journey. I don't wanna get kicked out of this bar, and I prefer to keep all my bones intact."

Melinda shrugged. "I see. You're THAT guy."

"Excuse me?" Jim laughed.

"You're THAT guy," Melinda repeated with a smile. "you'd rather keep your dignity in tact, than cut loose with your friend. You care what others think."

_Working hard to get my fill_

_Everybody wants a thrill_

_Payin anything to roll the dice_

_Just one more time_

"I see what you're doing," Jim replied, pointing his finger at her.

"And what am I doing?" Melinda asked amused.

"You're....you KNOW what you're doing!" Jim accused. "You're trying to manipulate me into singing with you, by implying that I am some kind of shallow jackass."

"Are you?" Melinda questioned.

"No!" Jim replied.

_Some will win, some will lose_

_Some were born to sing the blues_

_Oh, the movie never ends_

_It goes on and on and on and on_

Melinda laughed. "Okay,"

"Okay?" Jim asked.

"Yeah," Melinda replied. "Okay."

"Oh, I know what OKAY really means," Jim replied, pointing a finger at her again.

"Oh, really?" Melinda laughed. "Cause I always thought that OKAY, meant just that. OKAY."

_Strangers waiting  
Up and down the boulevard_

_Their shadows searching in the night_

"You're saying OKAY, cause you want to throw me off," Jim accused. "You want me to THINK that you're actually OKAY with me being a shallow jackass, well....I AIN'T falling for THAT!"

Melinda began laughing hysterically. "Okay, do you EVEN realize what you just said?"

Jim began laughing as well. "No, not really!"

_Streetlight people_

_Livin just to find emotion_

_Hiding, somewhere in the night_

Melinda laughed. "Oh, you were right."

"About what?" Jim smiled at her.

"This is actually pretty fun," Melinda replied.

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on to the feelin'_

_Streetlight people_

_Woahhh, woahhhh_

"Arguing over whether I'm a shallow jackass?" Jim asked.

"No!" Melinda laughed. "Just sitting here....laughing....having a good time with my best friend."

Jim smiled warmly at her. "You consider me your best friend?"

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on to the feelin'_

_Streetlight people_

_Woahhh, woahhhh_

Melinda smiled. "Of course, Jim." Melinda grabbed his hand. "You've really been there for me these past two days. It's probably weird that I feel so close to you so soon, but I do. You make me laugh, you make me feel safe with you. You're everything a best friend should be in my book."

"I always will be," Jim promised.

_Nick Lachey's "What's Left Of Me" starts to play._

"Hey," Jim smiled. "you wanna dance?"

Melinda smiled at him warmly. "Sure,"

Jim took her hand in his and lead her out onto the empty dance floor.

_Watch my life pass me by_

_In the rearview mirror_

_Pictures frozen in time _

_Are becoming clearer_

_I don't wanna waste another day_

_Stuck in the shadows of my mistakes_

_Yeah...._

Melinda put her arms around him, and rested her head against his shoulder.

Jim had his hand around her back, her hand in his other one and gently swayed with her.

_Cause I want you_

_And I feel you_

_Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger, like a burning_

_To find a place I've never been_

"Jim?" Melinda asked softly, from her place against his shoulder.

"Yeah, Mel?" Jim replied just as softly.

"Do you think that Clancy would blame me?" Melinda asked.

"No," Jim gently kissed her shoulder. "I don't think that at all. He made his own choice, and I think he would be disappointed in the way his girl is treating her former best friend,"

_Now I'm broken and I'm fading  
I'm half the man I thought I would be_

_But you can have _

_What's left of me_

"It hurts," Melinda admitted softly. "Caitlin...her turning on me...her following me just to destroy me...it breaks my heart even more than before,"

Jim brought his hand up to stroke her hair gently. "I know, babe. I knew that it probably had to. Or you wouldn't be angry."

Tears slowly fell down Melinda's cheeks as she continued to hold onto Jim.

_I've been dying inside_

_Little by little_

_Nowhere to go, been goin out of my mind_

_In endless circles_

_Running from myself until_

_You gave me a reason for standing still_

Melinda softly whimpered against Jim's shoulder. "I want it all back the way it used to be....I'd give anything to just go back."

Jim's heart broke at his bestfriend's cries. "I know, Mel. I know you would. I'd go back for you if I could."

"I hate how this is all ending up," Melinda continued, her voice choked. "this is just NOT the way things were supposed to be. We all said, we'd be friends forever."

_Cause I want you_

_And I feel you_

_Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger, like a burning_

_To find a place I've never been_

"I'm so sorry," Jim whispered against her ear. "I hate how much that you're hurting. I wish there was something I could do for you."

"There is something you can do," Melinda whispered back.

Jim held onto her a little tighter. "Name it, Mel. Anything...you name it, I'll do it."

"You can promise that no matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend." Melinda said. "I need to know that it's possible, that it can be real. I need to know that this one mistake that I made doesn't make it impossible for anyone to ever care about me again,"

_Now, I'm broken and I'm fading_

_I'm half the man I thought I would be_

_But you can have_

_What's left of me_

"Shh," Jim gently hushed her, as he continued to stroke her hair. "of course, I'll always be your best friend, Mel. You didn't do anything wrong that night...I just wish I could make you believe that. You are WORTH caring about....you're worth it more than you know. I DO care about you so much already. I can't even describe it...the moment I met you, I just saw something in you. I'm always gonna be there for you. Let Caitlin do her worst....nothing's gonna make stop being your friend. Nothing."

Fresh tears fell down Melinda's face, only this time they were tears of relief and happiness. "That's what's gonna get me through," Melinda whispered against him.

_Falling faster_

_Barely breathing_

_Give me something to believe in_

_Tell me, it's not all in my head_

"You can cry, you know." Jim gently said. "There's no one else here, but you and me. I know how hard all of this is, how much you're hurt. If you need to cry, you can cry. We can stay here like this for as long as you need."

Melinda shook her head against him. "I don't wanna cry," She did wanna cry, but she didn't want Jim to think she was weak.

"I know," Jim replied softly. "sometimes it's what we need though."

_Take what's left of this man_

_Make me whole once again_

"You don't have to be scared with me," Jim gently said. "You can let go, and I'll be right here for you. I just...I want you to be okay again. I want you to feel like you can be yourself with me....even if that means crying. I'm not just your friend for the good times, Mel. I'm your friend for the bad times too."

Melinda started to shake against him, and broke down sobbing.

Jim gently kissed her hair. "That's it, just let it out. Let it out, Mel."

_Cause I want you_

_And I feel you_

_Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger, like a burning_

_To find a place I've never been_

Melinda continued to sob hard against Jim's shoulder, her arms were wrapped around his neck, and she was holding onto him for dear life.

Jim felt tears stinging his own eyes, but he was glad that she trusted him enough to do this. He just continued to hold onto her, gently rubbing her back, soothing her. "It's okay, Mel. I'm here for you."

Melinda buried her face in his chest and continued to cry.

_Now, I'm broken and I'm fading_

_I'm half the man I thought I would be_

_But you can have_

_Oh, what's left of me_

_Yeah, yeah_

_What's left of me_

If anyone were to walk in at the very moment, they would see two best friends holding onto each other for dear life, and two people who have just embarked on a deeper level of the beginnings of a true love.

_I've been dying inside, you see_

_I'm going out of mine_

_Out of my mind_

_I'm just running in circles all the time_

_Will you take what's left_

_Will you take what's left_

_Will you take what's left_

_Just running in circles in my mind_

_Will you take what's left_

_Will you take what's left_

_Will you take what's left_

_Oh, will you take what's left of me_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

***

One month later...

"What did I say about the bathroom?"

Melinda looked up guiltily as she came out of the bathroom, to see Jim sitting down on the bed looking at her with annoyance and maybe a little amusement hidden.

"I'm sorry," Melinda meekly said.

"Uh-huh," Jim replied, as he walked past her into the bathroom. "don't know what I'm gonna do with you, Gordan."

Melinda just laughed, feeling relieved when she realized that he really wasn't mad. "I'm going to class, okay?"

"Yep!" Jim called back. "Have fun and ignore--"

"Caitlin!" Melinda yelled back. "I get it. And I've been good. I haven't started anything with her in like a month."

Melinda opened the door and stepped out.

***

Melinda stepped onto campus, and was about to walk inside the other building, when she heard a voice behind her.

"Melinda,"

Melinda turned around and stared in shock at the person. "Jerry?"

"It's been awhile, Melinda," Jerry replied in a cold voice.

From the look in his eyes and tone of his voice, Melinda could tell that Jerry still held her responcible. "What are you doing here? I...I heard that you got accepted to Harvard."

"I did," Jerry replied. "so, did Clancy and Jack."

Melinda sighed. "Jerry, please don't do this."

"Do what?" Jerry replied nonchalantly. "Remind you of what you did?"

"I didn't DO anything!" Melinda yelled. "I made a mistake, and I know that! Clancy is the one who chose to drive himself and Jack to their deaths!" Melinda pointed a finger at Jerry defensively. "And I am f*cking TIRED of being blamed for it all!"

"You SHOULD be blamed for it all, Melinda!" Jerry yelled back at her in anger. "You gave him his KEYS!"

Melinda looked down, she still felt guilt from that. No words that Jim had said to her could ever make her stop feeling guilt over that.

Jerry grabbed Melinda by the arm and shoved her roughly into the brick wall. "You killed FOUR people as far as I'm f*cking concerned!"

Melinda was scared, she'd never seen Jerry this angry before. "How do you figure that?" Melinda asked, strength still apparent in her voice as well as fear.

Jerry stared deep into Melinda's eyes with an intimidating glare. "You killed Clancy and Jack, no question. You gave Clancy his keys, you may as well have pushed him into oncoming traffic."

"And the other two?" Melinda replied.

"Caitlin no longer has a boyfriend, and I have lost two friends!" Jerry continued angrily. "You've pretty much killed the both of us."

Melinda angrily shoved him. "I don't have time for your sh*t! I gotta go to class."

Melinda began to walk in the direction of the door, but Jerry grabbed her by the arm and punched her, the impact of throwing her to the ground.

"You are a f*cking MURDERER!" Jerry screamed at her with hatred. "Won't be long before everyone else knows it too!"

***

Jim was on his way to class, when he saw Melinda curled on the ground, and some guy standing over her screaming at her.

"HEY!" Jim yelled, as he rushed up to them.

"You got lucky," Jerry said quickly. "next time, you won't be so lucky."

Jerry quickly ran in the door of the building and disappeared down the halls.

"Melinda!" Jim rushed over to her side, her well being more important to him, than going after the guy who'd obviously hurt her. "Babe, what happened?" Jim gently brushed a strand of hair out of Melinda's face.

Melinda was on the ground, clutching her stumach in pain. "Go away," Melinda cried. "please, just go away."

Jim gently lifted her up, and took her into his arms, cradling her. "I'm not going anywhere, Mel. You're hurt."

"I'm fine," Melinda responded.

"No, you're not," Jim said worriedly, he gently looked at her face and noticed it was becoming purple. "He hit you,"

"I need to go to class," Melinda said tearfully.

Jim looked at her in utter disbelief. "You can't go to class like this," Jim gently kissed her forehead. "C'mon, I'll take you back to the dorm....better yet, I'll take you to the dean. He has to do something about this," Jim finished in outrage.

"He *can't," Melinda said firmly.

"Melinda, this guy attacked you," Jim said with anger in his voice. "He'll do something about it or I will."

"Jerry doesn't go to this school," Melinda replied tiredly. "and you won't do anything either."

"The hell I won't!" Jim protested with irate fury.

Melinda placed a calming hand against Jim's face. "Just take me back to the dorm, and help me."

Jim saw the look in her eyes and shook his head. "Help you what, Mel? Help you cover this up? Absolutely not."

"Jim, please," Melinda pleaded, tears entering her eyes again.

"No," Jim said firmly.

Melinda was starting to get angry again. "If care a THING about me, you'll DO it!"

Jim just stared back at her, he was unrelenting. "It's BECAUSE I care about you, Mel that I WON'T do it."

Melinda reached into her bag, and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, she put them on. "Fine," Melinda said darkly. "I'll be on my way now." Melinda got up, but Jim grabbed her hand in a gentle, but firm hold. "Seriously?! Man-handled twice in one day?!"

Jim stared back at her hurt. "Melinda, I would NEVER hurt you!"

Melinda softened. "I know. I know you wouldn't, Jim. I just...I need to do something normal. And right now, going to class and pretending I'm okay...it's what I need."

Jim sighed. "While, I don't agree with ANY of THIS," Jim gestured with his hands. "I'll do whatever you need me to do. I don't like it, I hate it actually."

"You're disgusing your feelings so well," Melinda replied sarcastically.

"But," Jim continued on, gently removing her sunglasses. "you're my bestfriend. I'd do anything for you. So, whatever you need...just tell me and I will do it."

"I need you to help me cover this up," Melinda said bluntly.

"Okay," Jim replied.

"Okay? You're not gonna fight me on this?" Melinda replied confused.

"I'd like to, but fighting with you never gets us anywhere," Jim smiled. "Like I said, I think this is all wrong, but it's not about me. It's about you. You're the one who got attacked, and whatever is gonna make you feel better....help you deal with it, I'm gonna do it. I'll do it, because I love you."

Melinda walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "I love you too, Jim."

Jim pulled back from her and smiled. "Did we just have one of those girl moments?"

Melinda laughed. "I THINK so."

Jim nodded. "C'mon, lets get back to the dorm.....for another girl moment."

Melinda looked at him questionably.

"You're gonna want me to help you with your makeup, right?" Jim asked.

"If you don't mind," Melinda said hopefully.

Jim just shook his head in amusment. "The things I DO for you, Gordan."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

***

"Ow!"

"Sorry," Jim softly said, as he applied concealer to Melinda's face.

"It's okay," Melinda replied. "my face still really hurts."

"I would think it would," Jim said. "you look like a raccoon."

Melinda swatted his arm. "Than, you aren't applying enough makeup."

"Mel, are you sure about tonight?" Jim gently asked her. "I mean, we don't have to go to this stupid party. We can just stay here."

"No," Melinda said firmly. "I've done nothing but hide out in this dorm with you for the past week. It's time I get back out."

Jim nodded. "Yeah, I agree. You do need to get out."

"Then, why did you suggest I stay?" Melinda replied confused.

"I was doing the supportive, best friend thing." Jim said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I didn't wanna push you. You never listen to anything I tell you to do anyway."

"You still don't think I did the right thing, do you?" Melinda replied.

"Of course, not." Jim said. "I don't agree with it at all, but it's not my place. I don't own you, and I'm not even gonna pretend like I do. I'm here for you, no matter what you need. If you need me to help you put makeup on to cover that you were assaulted, than I'll do it."

"You're really great to me." Melinda smiled. "I don't know what I'd ever do without you."

Jim smiled at her gently, and applied the eye-liner. "Well, lucky for you....you're never gonna find out."

Melinda laughed. "Thanks, Jim. For everything."

"No problem, babe." Jim replied with a soft smile.

"Okay," Melinda smiled. "I'm gonna go get dressed now."

***

"Remember the deal,"

"Yeah, yeah." The guy replied annoyed.

"Well, don't screw it up, Jesse!" Caitlin warned.

"I won't!" Jesse yelled.

"The party starts in ten minutes. You drop this pill into whatever drink Melinda may chose to drink, okay?" Caitlin demanded.

Jesse nodded. "I will."

"And then, you do whatever it is that will make her suffer. You scare her, hit her....I don't care! You just make sure she feels the emotional pain that I have felt." Caitlin continued.

"You're one cold b*tch." Jesse noted.

"Just make sure she pays," Caitlin said.

Jesse nodded, and Caitlin took off.

"Oh, she'll pay alright Caitlin." Jesse sneered to himself. "I'm gonna take Melly on a ride she'll never forget."

***

"Wow,"

Melinda blushed. "What?"

"You're beautiful." Jim said softly.

"Thanks, Jim." Melinda smiled. "You look amazing too."

"Well, shucks..." Jim smiled goofily.

Melinda just laughed. "Don't be a dork, Clancy."

Jim smiled. "Okay, okay. Thanks, Mel. You ready?"

Melinda nodded, and took his outstretched arm.

"Thanks for doing my makeup," Melinda said, as they got into the hallway.

Jim lightly swatted her shoulder. "Is that NEVER talking about it AGAIN?" Jim hissed.

"Sorry," Melinda chuckled.

"I do have a reputation to maintain ya know," Jim replied, trying to look stern, but ended up chuckling as well.

"Oh, sure babe." Melinda rolled her eyes. "You're just the spitting image of testosterone. You're the most badass guy I know!"

"And don't you forget it!" Jim replied, pointing a finger at her.

Melinda busted out laughing. "I love you, Jim."

Jim's smile faded. "You do?"

Melinda swatted his arm. "Of course! You're my bestfriend."

Jim felt his heart plummet at that. He was hoping that he was more to her than that. He was so in love with Melinda Gordan. She was unlike anyone he'd ever known. He just wished she'd see him the way he saw her.

"Yeah," Jim laughed, playing it off. "I know that, cause I love you too. You're my best friend."

"Jim, you okay?" Melinda asked.

Jim let go of her arm. "I need to go be an RA," Jim laughed. "I need to make sure that no one's doing something illegal."

Melinda just continued to look at him in deep confusion.

"Yeah, I'll be back later. Mingle." Jim threw one last smile at her, and than stumbled away.

"Okay, what the hell just happened?" Melinda asked aloud, completely perplexed.

***

Meanwhile, Caitlin was sitting in her dorm, applying the rest of her make up.

"Caitlin, what the hell have you done?"

Caitlin jolted, stunned by the familiar voice. She turned around, her face went completely white. "Clancy," She whispered.

There, standing in front of her, wearing the same out fit he'd been wearing before he died, was Clancy Adams.

"How?" Caitlin whispered.

"How can I be here?" Clancy supplied for her. "Well, they sent me down here to talk some sense into you."

"They?" Caitlin was in awe of all of this.

"The powers that be, God....higher power...." Clancy replied. "Well, they aren't too pleased with you. And quite frankly, Cait...neither am I."

"Clancy, I've missed you so much!" Caitlin cried. "I've been so empty."

Clancy's eyes softened at the look in his girlfriend's eyes. "I've missed you too, pretty girl."

Tears streamed down Caitlin's face. "I had to make her pay for taking you away from me."

Clancy shook his head sadly. "Mel didn't take me away from you, Cait. I took me away from you. Me and my damn stupidity. I'll forever be sorry for it, babe."

"Clancy, she let you drive drunk." Caitlin spoke harshly. "She pretty much threw you into oncoming traffic! I hate her and she deserves whatever she gets!"

Clancy shook his head at her. "You don't really believe that Cait."

"Yes, I do." Caitlin replied stubbernly.

"This Jesse is a bad apple, Cait." Clancy said. "He's the worst of the worst. Melinda doesn't deserve a fraction of what he plans on doing to her. Only you can stop this."

"I don't WANT to stop it." Caitlin replied. "I want her to suffer just like I have."

Clancy sighed. "Caitlin, if you let this happen, it'll never be undone. You'll ruin her life."

"Good," Caitlin spat. "she ruined mine."

"No," Clancy shook his head. "if you're gonna blame Melinda for what happened, then you should take a deeper look inside of yourself."

"What?" Caitlin asked confused.

"Look inside of you, Cait. Go back to that night." Clancy spoke softly. "Mel's not the only one to blame..."

_"Clancy, stay..." Caitlin groggily said._

_"Babe, Jack called." Clancy said. "He needs a ride. I don't want him to miss this."_

_"But you've been drinking," Caitlin said sleepily._

_"I'll be alright. Trust me." Clancy replied._

_"Mmm...." Caitlin felt her eyes getting heavy. "Okay. Becareful, Clanc."_

"Oh my God." Caitlin whispered. "I let you go."

"You have to stop it, Caitlin." Clancy urged.

"All this time...I've been blaming Mel....It's my fault too." Tears were in Caitlin's eyes. "I've been horrible."

"You can stop it, Cait." Clancy said gently. "You're the only one who can."

Caitlin nodded. "Okay. I have to stop it, you're right. Clancy, I love you so much."

"I love you, Cait. Now, go be the girl that I fell in love with." Clancy said with a soft smile.

Caitlin nodded, and quickly ran out of the room.

***

Meanwhile, Melinda had gotten a jack daniels. She had taken a few sips of it, and decided that she needed to go find Jim. It had been almost a half hour. She wondered where he could've went off to.

She left her drink on the table, and went off in search of Jim.

***

Jim was sitting outside, drinking coke.

He felt that as RA, it was his responciblity to be the sober one.

He was also hiding out from Melinda. He knew she'd wanna question him about his flaky behavior and he honestly wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

He wanted to tell her that he was in love with her, find out if she could possibly maybe feel the same way.

He just wasn't so sure that she did.

He valued their friendship and he was afraid of getting his heart broken.

***

Ten minutes went by, and Melinda still couldn't find Jim. She sighed and went back over to her spot, and grabbed her drink.

She was slightly depressed cause she couldn't find Jim, and began drinking it heavily.

***

On the other side of the room, Jesse laughed to himself.

She was so predictable, like most girls.

She made it easy though, leaving her drink unattended like that.

It was almost time for him to teach Melinda Gordan a very valuable lesson.

And Jesse Fredrick was going to enjoy every evil minute of it.

***

Caitlin was out of breath, as she ran into the halls.

Where was Jim?

Caitlin sighed.

She had to find him immediately. She had to tell him what was going on and it had to be soon.

It was the only prayer she had of saving Melinda, and of saving her soul in the process.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

***

Melinda was starting to feel light-headed.

Which was very weird for her. She held her alcohol quite well.

"Hey, you alright?"

Melinda turned around, and saw a guy she didn't recognize. "Um, yeah....just do I know you?"

"You're Melinda, right?" Jesse played it off. "I think we have chemistry together."

Melinda felt like she was gonna pass out any second. "Oh, right. Chem."

"I'm Jesse," Jesse continued. "Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look so good. You want me to take you to your room? Or find someone for you?"

"Jim," Melinda whispered. "You can help me find Jim."

Jesse smiled. "Jim, it is."

***

"Jim!"

Jim turned around, and glared at who he saw. "Caitlin. Is there something you need?"

"Yeah, you!" Caitlin responded eagerly.

Jim just rolled his eyes. "A, you're not my type, and B, I would never want anything to do with you after the way you've hurt Melinda."

Caitlin rolled her eyes in return. "Please! You're not my type either, fabio."

"Well, now that we've established that we're not each other's types...." Jim replied sarcastically. "Feel free to go in a black hole."

Caitlin sighed. "Jim, please! This is important!"

"Isn't everything with you?" Jim responded. "Look, I'm trying to enjoy the nice evening air, and well you're hogging it! So, do me a favor and find some other poor sap to bother."

Caitlin stalked over to him, and grabbed his hand. Jim looked at her in disgust, and pulled his hand back from hers. "Seriously, Caitlin?"

Caitlin groaned. "Get over yourself, Jim! I need your help!"

"And I'm obligated cause I'm the RA." Jim replied. "Fine. What do you need, Caitlin?"

"It's Melinda," Caitlin blurted.

Jim looked concerned. "What about Mel?"

"You should...." Caitlin was trying to figure out how to tell him without saying it was her. She knew she had to own up to it eventually, but now really wasn't the time. "You should find her."

Jim narrowed his eyes at her in accusion. "Why? What did you do?"

Caitlin went on the defensive even though it was true. "Why do you assume I did something?"

Jim just glared at her. "What did you do to Melinda this time?"

"I....nothing!" Caitlin yelled. "She just....She was drinking quite heavily the last time I saw her, okay?"

Jim just rolled his eyes. "You're not getting me this way. I'm sorry about what happened back then, but grow up!"

"Excuse me?"

"You're just trying to drag me along to find Melinda, so you can humiliate her again." Jim accused. "Well, I'm not being party to it."

Caitlin sighed. She realized she had to say more to convince Jim that she was being sincere. "I saw this really creepy guy hanging around her, okay?"

"What creepy guy?" Jim asked, although his eyes held more concern then they did before. Even a little bit of jealousy.

"Look....he has a widely known reputation for drugging girls, okay?" Caitlin continued, as Jim's eyes went wide in fear. "I'm pretty sure I saw him slip something into her.." She never got out the rest of her sentence, because Jim was running past her out the door. "drink," Caitlin finished softly. "Okay, I did my part Clancy. It's up to you to do the rest."

***

"Where are we?" Melinda asked.

Jesse had taken her up to his dorm room. "Somewhere you can relax."

Melinda was barely holding herself up, she was sitting on a bed. "Did you find Jim?"

"Yeah, change of plan about that." Jesse replied.

"What?"

Jesse pushed her down on the bed and got on top of her.

Melinda started pushing against him. "What? What are you doing?"

"You know you want me," Jesse smiled. "I saw how you were looking at me."

"No, I don't!" Melinda screamed as she started pounding against his chestj.

Jesse slapped her across the face. "Quit fighting me, b*tch! Just enjoy it!"

"No," Melinda sobbed. "get off me!"

***

Jim was racing through the halls, he felt like his heart was gonna fall out of his chest.

Jim recognized a guy who was dancing with a girl. "Hey, Jacob,"

Jacob looked at Jim and acknowledged him with a smile. "Jim, what's up man?"

"Have you seen Melinda Gordan?" Jim asked, getting straight to the point.

"Um, yeah." Jacob replied. "I saw her leave with Jesse Fredricks. I hope she knows what she's in for. He's not the most respectful guy." Jabob commented with a frown.

"She left with him?" Jim questioned. "How did she look?"

"I don't know," Jacob replied. "She looked kinda drunk actually. The mistakes of collage one night stands, huh?"

Jim grabbed Jacob and slammed him into the wall. "You let her leave with him?! She was under the influence, and you let her just be lead away by that prick?!"

Jacob coughed slightly. "Hey, man. She's old enough to know better. Everyone knows about his rep."

Jim had to fight the urge to punch him. "Where is Jesse's room?"

"Two rooms that way," Jacob pointed.

Jim let go of him and took off.

"Jacob, she looked drunk?" His girl looked at him disapprovingly.

"Hey!" Jacob said defensively. "I'm not a babysitter."

His girl just shook her head at him.

***

Jim raced up the stairs, and threw open the door.

He saw Jesse on top of Melinda, with her beating her fist against him. He dress was pushed up.

Jim flew over and grabbed Jesse, flinging him off of Melinda roughly.

Jim had Jesse pinned against the wall, his hand against his throat. "The only reason I'm not gonna f*cking beat the life out of you right now, is because I'm an RA. And as much as I'd love to murder you with my bare hands for what you were trying to do to MY GIRL, you aren't worth it." Jim tightened his hold on him, and Jesse gagged. "However, you dare to try this again, or go anywhere NEAR her...I will make you extremely sorry. I just may forget the rules."

Jesse gagged again.

"Get out of here," Jim said darkly. "expect to meet with the dean first thing though. You're not getting away with this, you filthy piece of trash."

Jesse stumbled out of the room, and ran.

Jim rushed over to Melinda, gently putting his hand against her face. "Mel?"

Melinda began to freak out, and started beating his chest. "No!" Melinda sobbed.

"Shh," Jim held her hands against his heart. "baby, it's Jim." He gently kissed her forehead. "It's Jim. You're safe."

"Jim," Melinda cried.

Jim gently lifted her from the bed, and into his arms. "Everything's alright now," Jim gently whispered.

Melinda buried her head in his chest.

Jim carried her out of the room, and away from the prying eyes of other people.

A few minutes later, they were back in their dorm.

Jim gently set her on the bed. He went and got some ice, and brought it back. He gently applied it to her face.

"I was so scared," Melinda whispered brokenly.

"So was I," Jim gently said. "Melinda, I love you so much."

"I love you too," Melinda weakly said back.

"No, I mean..." Jim gently took her face in his hands. "I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for...." He gently smiled with love. "forever."

Melinda softly cried, smiling back at him. "I'm in love with you too. I have been for a long time."

Jim gently pulled her into his arms. "That's why I had to get to you. That's why I get so mad at you sometimes....That's why I was so scared tonight. I am completely with no reservations in love with you."

Melinda lifted her head from his chest, and kissed him deeply.

Jim put his arms around her, kissing her back.

Melinda pulled back, leaning her head against his forehead. Her body going almost limp.

"I know you're tired, but you're gonna be really uncomfortable if you fall asleep in this dress." Jim said softly.

"Can you?" Melinda groggily asked. "You do it? I tr..trust you."

Jim kissed her forehead tenderly, overwhelmed by the deep trust that she had in him. He vowed to himself right then and there to never do anything to lose it.

Jim gently unzipped her dress, taking it off of her. He gently kissed her shoulder, and her neck where marks were.

Melinda sat there in her bra and underwear, while Jim quickly went and got one of his shirts for her to sleep in.

Jim gently removed her bra and placed the shirt on her, and buttoned it. "It's gonna be long on you ,okay?"

Melinda nodded sleepily.

Jim gently pulled her back into his arms, hugging her.

A second later, Jim gently placed her on the bed, covering her up.

He was about to walk away, when Melinda grabbed his hand. "Stay," she whispered. "Please, just sleep in here with me."

Jim smiled and nodded. "Sure, Mel." He climbed in the bed, and gently placed his arms around her small form. He held her close to his chest.

"I love you," Jim softly whispered. "Mel, I love you."

Melinda backed further into his arms, until she was practically wrapped inside his body. "Mmm...love you, Jim."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

***

Melinda was starting to open her eyes, she felt a warm body wrapped around her. She turned around and the movement woke Jim up.

"Hey," Jim said softly.

"Jim," Melinda whispered sleepily. "you're here."

"Yeah," Jim gently smiled at her, pushing a couple strands of hair out of her face. "Mel, I'm here."

"I've always wanted you here," Melinda murmered.

Jim gently kissed her forehead. "I'm always here for you, babe."

Melinda reached out for him and kissed him, she started to unbutton his shirt.

"Mmm, Mel." Jim gently grabbed her hands, stopping them. "What's happening?"

"I want you, Jim. I wanna be with you, I always have." Melinda said softly.

Jim gently kissed her lips. "Are you sure?"

Melinda nodded. "Mmm, hmm. I'm in love with you, Jim. I just wanna feel you love me back."

Jim pulled her body closer to him. "I do love you, Mel." He kissed her deeply and passionately. "I wanna be with you too. I have for a long time."

Melinda smiled and kissed him again, she began unbuttoning his shirt. She pulled it off of him.

Jim gently started unbuttoning the shirt that he'd placed on her last night, he placed gentle kisses against her skin. He kissed her breasts, her shoulders, and gently started to suck on her neck.

"Mmm, Jim." Melinda moaned. "I love you,"

"I love you," Jim groaned into her ear. "I've wanted you for so long, Mel."

"Me too," Melinda whispered. She started to pull his boxers down.

Jim removed the shirt the rest of the way from Melinda's body. He pulled her underwear down, and gently got on top of her.

Melinda gasped as a memory hit her....

_"I know you want me," Jesse sneered._

_"No!" Melinda sobbed_

"Mel?" Jim gently asked, noticing a change in her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Melinda nodded slowly. "Yeah, yeah."

Jim gently touched her face. "Are you sure? We don't have to do this..."

Melinda shook her head, willing the awful memory to go away as if it were just a bad dream. She was with Jim. She was finally with Jim, even if it was just a dream. She didn't wanna wake up from this moment. "I wanna do this. I want you, Jim."

Jim smiled at her. "I want you too, Mel." Jim kissed her passionately again, and gently lifted her leg to go around his waist.

Tears entered Melinda's eyes again as another flash hit her...

_"Get off!" Melinda sobbed._

_Jesse punched her. "Just shut up, and enjoy this b*tch!"_

"NO!" Melinda screamed. "Get off! Get off!"

Jim immediately let go of her, he let go of her the first time she'd say 'no'. "What? Mel, what is it?" Jim looked at her with care and concern.

Melinda began sobbing. She kept looking around and looking at Jim. She was fully awake now, and realized that none of this was a dream.

"Babe," Jim gently touched her shoulder, but she jerked away. Sadness and regret entered Jim's eyes. "you're remembering what happened, aren't you?"

Melinda nodded, her face full of tears and anguish. "Jim, I'm so sorry."

Melinda grabbed the sheet, wrapped it around her and ran straight into the bathroom, locking it behind her.

Jim quickly put his boxers back on and ran to the bathroom door. "Mel," Jim called, knocking on the door. "babe, open the door."

Melinda was crying hard. "Jim, I'm sorry,"

Jim leaned against the door, tears stinging his eyes. "No, Mel....don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? I shouldn't...." Jim slid down the door, closing his eyes in pain before reopening them. "I took advantage of you. I should've realized...."

Melinda reached up and unlocked the door.

Jim immediately stood up, and opened the door. "Oh, Mel..."

Melinda was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, wrapped in the sheet shaking. "Jim," Melinda whimpered.

Jim shut the door behind them, and sat down beside her. He reached for her hand and took it in his, enterwining their fingers together. "Mel, what happened?" Jim gently asked.

"I thought...." Melinda laughed bitterly. "wow, this is really embarrassing. And humilating."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," Jim gently kissed her hand. "no reason to feel humiliated. Just talk to me, babe."

"I thought I was dreaming," Melinda confessed. "I thought I was dreaming about you. I've done it so many times....and....I threw myself at you."

Jim gently smiled at her. "You dream about me often like that?"

Melinda chuckled. "Please, don't.....I know you don't feel the same way. I know you don't want me like that. I'm sorry that I put you in that position and I'm even sorrier for freaking out the way that I did."

"Don't be sorry for getting scared...." Jim softly said. "What happened....it was awful. I should've taken more consideration of that instead of just assuming that I was finally getting what I'd dreamed about for so long," Melinda's eyes went wide at that. "Me, not feeling the same way...." Jim gently kissed her lips, surprising Melinda. He gently pulled back to smile at her. "me not wanting you....nothing could be further from the truth."

"Are you in love with me?" Melinda asked seriously.

"Yes, I am." Jim responded. "I've been in love with you forever, it seems like."

"Me too," Melinda smiled. "I just never thought that you could love me."

"I could and I do," Jim gently kissed her hand, and held it against his heart. "I'd be crazy not to."

Melinda leaned her head against his shoulder. "I'm in love with you."

Jim smiled and kissed her head. "Do you wanna talk about what happened in there?"

"We almost had sex," Melinda whispered.

"We almost made love," Jim softly corrected. "but we didn't. You got scared. You wanna talk about what scared you?"

"I..." Melinda sniffled as more tears rolled down her face. "I had a memory."

"Okay," Jim said softly.

"You got on top of me, and it hit me." Melinda whimpered.

Jim gently kissed the side of her face. "What hit you, babe?"

"I think....I...." Melinda shook against him. "Jim, was I raped?"

Jim held her tighter to him. "No, Mel. You weren't raped. I got there...I stopped him."

"You saved me?" Melinda whispered.

Jim kissed her head. "I found you,"

"I think it was my fault," Melinda said softly.

"No," Jim shook his head, turning her face to look at him. "you didn't do anything wrong. Jesse has a bad rep. He's done this before."

"I left my drink," Melinda said. "You were acting so weird, and I wanted to find you. It had been awhile..."

Jim felt the guilt come over him. "I was avoiding you. I....it was getting harder and harder for me to hide how I felt about you. I shouldn't....I was selfish, Mel. I never should've left you alone."

"I should've told you how I felt a long time ago," Melinda said softly. "So, if you're to blame than so am I."

"You're not to blame," Jim said gently.

"I went back for my drink after I couldn't find you." Melinda said.

Jim's eyes were wide. "The same drink you left behind?" Melinda nodded. "Oh, Mel....you CANNOT ever do THAT!"

Melinda shrunk back from him and started crying again. "I'm sorry,"

Jim sighed, and pulled her back into his arms. "No, I'm sorry babe. You just.....you can't do that, Mel. What if I hadn't found you? What if Caitlin hadn't told me....You would've been raped. I would've hated myself forever for leaving you alone."

"You mean you wouldn't want me anymore," Melinda stated hurt.

"No!" Jim said, his voice strong. "That is NOT true."

"It is though," Melinda whispered.

"Mel," Jim said softly.

Melinda pulled out of his arms and went for the door, but felt herself being pulled back into strong arms. "Let go,"

"No," Jim shook his head against her. "nothing on this earth could ever change the way I feel about you."

"Yeah, right." She whispered.

"There is NOTHING," Jim repeated firmly. "you're the one that I always wanna be with. You're the one that I love." Melinda started crying, and Jim just held onto her tighter. He gently kissed her neck. "You're the one, Mel. You always have been."

Melinda turned around in his arms and threw her arms around his neck. She pulled him to her, kissing him deeply and passionately.

Jim gently backed her into the door, and continued kissing her.

Melinda reached down and started stroking him, and he groaned against her lips. "Mel, don't start something you can't finish." Jim softly whispered.

"What if I can?" Melinda said softly.

"Mel," Jim gently sucked on her neck. "if you don't want this...."

"Mmm, I do," Melinda moaned, clutching his head to her neck. "I want you. I'm not scared with you."

Jim pulled back from her neck, to take her face in his hands. He kissed her with a passionate force that both thrilled and excited her.

Jim pulled her close to him. "Where do you wanna do this?"

"The shower," Melinda's eyes sparkled.

Jim smiled. "Okay," Jim took her hand, and lead her towards the shower. He kissed her again, and gently took the sheet off of her. "You're so beautiful."

Melinda blushed, and she looked down, but Jim lifted her chin to gently meet his eyes. "You are," Jim insisted. "You're so beautiful."

Jim reached in and turned the water on, and took his boxers off. He lead her into the shower.

Jim took her into his arms from behind, and began assaulting her neck.

"Jim," Melinda moaned. She felt him move his hand down against her inner thigh.

"Mel, I love you." Jim whispered.

"I love you too," Melinda whispered back, turning in his arms and kissing him deeply.

Jim backed her into the wall of the shower, and started to rub her center.

"Jim," Melinda moaned. "Oh, Jim..."

He started pushing his finger into her deeper, "Mel," Jim began kissing her neck again, a she continued to moan in pleasure.

Melinda reached down and started stroking him, and Jim groaned at the contact. "You like that? What I'm doing?"

Jim half groaned and chuckled against her neck. "Oh, I like it. I like it VERY much," Jim inserted a second finger, and Melinda moaned. "Do you, Mel?" Jim moved his lips to her ear. "Do you like what I'm doing to you?"

"Mmm," Melinda moaned, as she continued to stroke him. "I LOVE what you're doing to me. I love you."

"I love you," Jim groaned.

He started moving his finger in and out of her faster, and she did the same. "Melinda!" Jim yelled.

"JIM!" Melinda screamed, as her orgasm hit, and her whole body was shaking.

"MELINDA!" Jim yelled again, as his orgasm hit quite intensely.

After a few seconds, their bodies calmed down. Jim had his head in Melinda's neck, his body still shaking.

Melinda had her arms around him. "Was...was that good?" Melinda asked a little apprehensive.

She'd never done anything like that before. The closest sexual experience she'd ever had, was when she'd have heavy make-out sessions with Kyle. But that was NOTHING compared to this. He'd always wanted to go further and she just wasn't ready.

Jim pulled back from her neck to look in her eyes. He chuckled. "Baby, that was amazing. You...you're amazing," Jim kissed her deeply. "I've never felt anything like that before."

"Me neither," Melinda said honestly.

"Are you ready?" Jim asked her. "Are you ready for me?"

Melinda nodded. She was ready. She felt like she'd waited her whole life for this guy. "I'm ready, Jim. I want you inside me."

Jim kissed her again. "I want you too, Mel." Jim lifted her leg around his waist, and started rubbing against her. "I love you,"

"I love you too," Melinda moaned. She was excited for this moment and scared all at the same time. She'd heard from other girls how much sex hurt the first time, and Jim's package was big. She trusted him though, she trusted him more than anything.

Jim pushed himself inside of her, and Melinda immediately cried out. Jim was shocked at the barrier he seemed to have penitrated.

Melinda was softly crying, and Jim pulled back to look into her eyes. "Mel," Jim gently wiped her tears with his thumbs. "are you a virgin?"

Melinda nodded through her tears. "Yes,"

"Oh, Mel." Jim gently kissed her eyes, her nose, her whole face. "Babe, I'm sorry. I had no idea..." Jim looked down and saw the blood trickling down her leg. "Mel, I hurt you." Jim kissed her forehead.

Melinda touched his face. "It's okay, it's okay."

Jim shook his head, feeling horrible for how rough he'd entered her. "No, it's not okay. I....I never thought....I wasn't...." He hadn't been gentle with her at all, and he'd heard how bad it hurt for girls the first time they had sex. He just never dreamed that Melinda was one. She'd talked about Kyle....and well, he'd just assumed. "Melinda, I am so sorry." Jim realized that he was still buried inside of her at this point. "Do you want me to stop?"

Melinda shook her head. "No, you're the one I've been waiting for. I want this."

Jim smiled gently and kissed her. "God....babe, why didn't you tell me you were a virgin? This can't be how you wanted your first time to be. I would've....I would've done something so much more special for you."

Melinda's heart melted and she felt so lucky to have a guy as wonderful as Jim Clancy. "This is special to me," Melinda kissed him deeply. "I get to choose to have sex for the first time with the man of my dreams. It doesn't get more special than that."

A tear rolled down Jim's face. He loved her so much. He never dreamed that he could find anyone who could make him this happy. "I love you so much, Melinda Gordan. Thank you for wanting me to be your first."

Melinda nodded emotionally and kissed him, and Jim began to slowly and gently move inside of her. "Jim," Melinda moaned, tears were rolling down her face.

"What is it, Mel? Am I hurting you?" Jim asked worried.

Melinda shook her head. "No, you're not hurting me. Just the opposite. I've never felt anything so amazing before."

Jim smiled and kissed her. "Me neither,"

Jim began to move faster inside of her, and Melinda moaned again. "Jim! Oh, God. Jim!"

Jim could feel his orgasm coming, as he continued to push into her. "Melinda!" Jim groaned. "Baby!"

Melinda's whole body was shaking. "Jim!"

Jim was kissing her neck as he thrusted into her one last time, spilling himself inside of her. "Melinda!"

Jim collapsed against her, breathing heavily. "Oh God, I love you." He breathed against her. "You're amazing."

Melinda buried her face in his neck. "I love you too, Jim. It was amazing, everything I'd ever hoped it would be. And so much more."

Jim pulled back and kissed her deeply. "You're amazing, Mel." He repeated.

Jim reached over and grabbed a wash cloth, holding it underneath the water. He gently pressed the washcloth against Melinda's leg, gently wiping the blood away. Jim looked up at her, and saw tears streaming down her face. "Hey," Jim said softly. He got up to meet Melinda's eye level. "I hurt you, didn't I?"

Melinda shook her head quickly. "No, you didn't hurt me." Melinda touched his face gently and she looked at him in awe. "You're just...you're amazing, Jim Clancy." Melinda sobbed. "I'm so in love with you that is overwhelming."

"I love you too," Jim said, as he held her to him tenderly. "I'm so unbelieveably greatful to have your love, Mel. You're everything to me."

He gently pulled back and took her hand, and helped her out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around her, and gently dried her off. She did the same for him, and then he lead her out of the bathroom and into their bed.

Melinda curled up against him, as he held her to him. "I love you," She murmered into his chest sleepily.

Jim kissed the top of her head, and whispered. "I love you too,"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

***

Several hours later, Melinda woke up. She lifted her head and smiled when her eyes met Jim's.

"You stalker," Melinda joked.

Jim gently smiled, and kissed her lips. "Can't help it. You're just so beautiful."

Melinda laughed. "So, you're a stalker and liar now."

"I am not a liar," Jim protested. "just calling it like I see it."

"Then, you must be blind." Melinda replied. "My hair has got to be a total mess..."

"You're beautiful," Jim insisted. "How do you feel?"

Melinda grinned, her entire face lighting up. "I feel amazing. You?"

"Incredible," Jim replied. "you were awesome."

"So, I did it right?" Melinda questioned hopefully.

Jim laughed. "I don't think you could do it wrong, babe."

Melinda swatted his arm. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm sorry, sorry." Jim replied, concealing his laughter. "Just the way you said it....Sex isn't really as complicated as they make it out to be, ya know?"

"Yeah, I guess not." Melinda said softly.

Jim saw her eyes dim. "Hey," Jim gently lifted her chin to meet his eyes. "what's wrong, Mel?"

"I just..." Melinda sighed. "You'd tell me if I like disappointed you or something, right?"

"Melinda," Jim kissed her deeply. "you did NOT disappoint me. Why would you even think that?"

"I've never had sex before, Jim." Melinda said softly. "You were my first."

"That's not a bad thing, Mel." Jim smiled softly. "I love that I was your first."

"But you...I'm sure you've been with other girls," Melinda stated. "other girls that probably did more for you than what I..."

Jim gave her a look that shut her up. "Okay, first off.....you are amazing and sexy....and you made me feel things I didn't think it was possible to feel. You were amazing at what you and I did last night. It was beautiful and it's something that I would never grade you on or be disappointed in. I love you, Mel. You. You are what made it wonderful."

Tears entered Melinda's eyes. "But...I didn't really know what I was doing....I mean there must've been other gir--"

"You're the ONLY girl, Melinda!" Jim interrupted her. Melinda stared at him stunned. "Just you. I mean, I've done things....other things..." Jim shook his head, feeling awkward at this turn of the conversation. "Doesn't matter...the point is, you are the ONLY girl that I have EVER had sex with." Jim kissed her passionately. "Not just that, you're the ONLY girl I EVER want to have sex with. You're it for me, Mel."

"Jim," Melinda's eyes were filled with tears of happiness. "you're it for me too. I can't believe...."

"What?" Jim asked gently. "That I was a virgin too?"

"Not just that," Melinda said. "I can't believe that you....that you love me THIS much. I can't believe that all of this has happened. I mean, last night....I never dreamed that when you and I went to that party this is how it would all end up. Me, being drugged, almost raped...you saving me, and than us almost having sex....than, you and I actually HAVING sex. Really HOT sex,"

Jim chuckled. "So, it was good for you too?"

Melinda laughed. "Oh, yeah....it was AWESOME!"

Jim kissed her neck. "For me too, babe. I'm happy that I waited til I found you." Jim looked at her seriously. "Do you regret it all?"

Melinda looked deeply into his eyes. "Not for a second. It was weird how it all happened, but a good weird. When you pulled the sheet off of me and was looking at me....naked me....it felt weird. Cause you're my bestfriend...and there were all of these boundaries," She gently touched his face. "I lost everything back home, than I found you. I was determined to never lose you. Especially not over a night of gratifacation." Melinda looked down for a second. "Why? Do you regret it?"

"No!" Jim assured her, gently kissing her lips. "I don't regret any of it, Mel. I was just worried that you may have....I mean, I know what almost happened to you last night...I wasn't sure where your head was at. But....last night wasn't just a night of gratification. It wasn't about me just wanting to lose my virginity or see what you were like." He gently carressed her face. "It was about me showing you how much I loved you. That night was about you and me, nothing else."

Melinda smiled, relieved. "Good. Cause, that's how I feel. And it would really hurt if you.....if you didn't feel the same way about this."

"I do, Mel." Jim gently kissed her face. "I do feel the same way."

"What are we now?" Melinda asked softly. "I mean, before....I was just some girl you were trying to help....and then, we became bestfriends....and now we've slept together....what are we, Jim?"

Jim gently kissed her hand. "Well, I hope that you're my girl. I hope that you consider me your guy. I hope that this means that you want us to be together, cause I gotta tell you after last night...I have no intention of ever giving you up."

Melinda gasped emotionally. She was so afraid that he wouldn't want the same thing.

Jim smiled at her and kissed her. "You are hot!" Melinda's face dropped, and Jim didn't seem to notice the change in her at that one comment. "You're the hottest girl in this whole dorm. I'm never letting another guy be able to see what I've seen. I want you, I want this...I want US."

Melinda frowned, and she looked hurt, and angry.

"What?" Jim asked concerned. "You don't....you don't want that too?"

"So, I'm hot?" Melinda questioned, her tone hard. "I'm just a hot girl.....a TROPHY... something for you to just show off to all your buddies?!"

Jim's eyes widened. Where had _that_ come from? "No! I didn't mean it like that, Mel!"

Melinda pulled out of his arms, wrapping the sheet around her. "You just used me, didn't you?" Melinda accused hurt. "All this 'I love you' crap was for nothing! I bet you even being my FRIEND was for nothing!"

"Melinda!" Jim was astonished by the things she was saying. "I didn't use you! I would never...I love you!"

Melinda just glared at him. "I don't know why I thought you would be any different! You're just like all of the other guys!"

"What other guys?" Jim was very confused. One minute things were amazing, and he'd joked about her body and now, she was going postal on him.

"The other guys who were just using me for one THING!" Melinda screamed, tears entering her eyes. "They just wanted one THING, and when they didn't get THAT...it was bye, bye!" Melinda shoved at him, and Jim just stared at her in disbelief. "That's what happened with Kyle! That's why he dumped me!"

"He was a fool," Jim calmly replied. "anybody who looks at you and doesn't love what's inside of you is an idiot."

"You don't love me for me either," Melinda retorted harshly. "you just want my body. That's all any of this was about. You planned this all out!"

Jim rolled his eyes, getting annoyed. He could see her having doubts about them making it, but this was ridiculous.

"Yeah, Mel. I planned ALL of this!" Jim began sarcastically. "I planned for you to let your friend drive drunk," Melinda's face grew harder at that comment. "and I PLANNED for you to come out here, and show up at MY office crying your eyes out!" Jim didn't stop there though, he went in for the big kill. "You know what? I EVEN PLANNED for you to almost get RAPED! Yeah, it was all a clever ruse to get you into bed!"

Jim sighed with annoyance, completely forgetting about how out of line his comment about Clancy had been. "Jeez, give me a break."

Melinda's eyes narrowed. "Was it?"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Jim yelled with a groan. "If you honestly think for one SECOND that I could do that to YOU, to ANYONE, than maybe you and I don't belong together! You clearly don't know me at all!"

"Maybe, I don't." Melinda conceeded stubbernly. "Maybe I never did! I mean, if you REALLY loved me, than you wouldn't have taken advantage of me the way that you did!"

Jim glared at her, completely pissed off by this point. "I took advantage of YOU?! I think you got that backwards, sweetheart! You're the one who came on to ME! Both times! I asked you time and time again if you were ready!"

Jim sighed, when he saw how hurt Melinda was...he realized that taking cheap shots at her really wasn't going to help the situation any. She'd clearly been used so much in the past, that now she was deflecting it onto him. No matter how angry he was about that, he wouldn't hurt her for the world.

Jim reached out and took her hand, in his. He was surprised that she didn't snatch it back. "Mel, if I took advantage of you...than, why did I ask time and time again if you were ready? Why did I go as gentle as I could when I realized that I was hurting you? Why did I take the time to wipe the blood off of your legs?" Jim asked softly.

Melinda's eyes were filled with tears. "Jim,"

Jim gently wiped her tears away. "Mel, you were the who was all over me. You wanted me as much as I wanted you. Now, I don't know what's happening here. I don't know why you're attacking me like this.....I can only assume that you've been hurt before, and you're afraid to believe that you and I could work. That I could make you happy."

Melinda roughly wiped her tears away. "Why the hell would that scare me?"

"You tell me," Jim said softly. "What happened to you, Mel?"

"Nothing!" Melinda spat, yanking her hand away from him.

Jim sighed, trying not to get pissed off at her again. He didn't like fighting with her, and he didn't trust himself not to say anymore hurtful things. "Well, this 'nothing' has caused quite a bit of damage to our new relationship!"

"This was a mistake," Melinda whispered. "I don't know why I thought this could ever work," Melinda got off the bed, the sheet wrapped tightly around her and ran into the bathroom.

Jim felt his heart drop, he didn't wanna lose her. He'd just found her, they'd just found each other. He loved her so much. He wanted nothing more than to go after her, sit by the door and talk until she realized that they were real and he loved her. His pride however, wouldn't let him do that. He hadn't done anything wrong, she was the one who was acting crazy for no reason. Even though, he knew there was a reason. She wouldn't tell him though, and until she decided to let him all the way in, it would never work.

Jim sighed with a heavy heart, and laid back in bed. She'd come out eventually. He was sure of it. All he could do was wait.

***

In the bathroom, Melinda was leaning against the door.

A part of her felt so stupid for picking that fight with him. Deep down, inside of her heart she didn't really believe that he could do that to her. That he could use her. There was just this little voice in the back of her said that said....she wasn't worthy. She didn't deserve him.

He was an RA for crying out loud. He helped make people's lives better.

She'd never made anyone else's life better before.

It all came back to Jack and Clancy....she was certain that they would've been better off never knowing her.

And that comment that Jim had made about her letting her friend drive drunk...well, it had hurt. It had hurt worse than that punch Jerry had given her all those weeks ago.

It broke her heart in two to think that he secretly agreed with everyone else. That he maybe thought that she really was the cause of their death's.

She'd attacked him back there for no apparent reason. She closed her eyes as a strangled sob escaped her.

_"Well, this 'nothing' has caused quite a bit of damage to our new relationship!"_

She'd damaged their relationship with her words and her insecurity. Tears steadily streamed down her face.

_"You're the one who came on to ME! Both times!"_

Melinda's body started to shake with sobs.

_"Melinda, what's your problem?" Kyle spat. "Why do you have to be such a f*cking tease?!"_

Melinda started punching the wall as she started to sob loudly.

***

Jim hadn't been able to fall asleep, since their fight.

He'd just laid in bed for awhile, having a battle with his heart, on whether or not to just go talk to her.

He was stubbern though, he was gonna wait. Let her come to him.

Then, he heard her crying.

It broke his heart. It was getting harder and harder to let her be.

When, he heard her sobs get louder, and her punching the wall...his mind was made up.

He couldn't leave her like that. No matter how hurt he may be with her right now, he was her friend first.

She was hurting, and he couldn't leave her to hurt alone like that.

He never had in the past, and he wasn't going to start now.

Jim got out of bed, and made his way over to the bathroom. He tried the door, and was surprised to find it unlocked. He opened the door, and his heart broke at what he saw.

Melinda was on the floor, rocking back and forth sobbing hysterically.

"Oh, babe," Jim leaned down, and picked her up in his arms. "C'mon,"

Melinda put her arms around him, sobbing against him. "I'm so....so...sorry," Melinda stuttered through her sobs. "I'm so...sor..sor..sorry!"

Jim gently kissed her head. "Shh, I know Mel." Jim lifted her up off the floor. "I'm sorry too."

"I can...I can...I can't," Melinda sobbed harshly, and Jim gently kissed her face. "I can't lose you,"

Tears pricked Jim's eyes. "You're not gonna lose me," Jim rasped, as he carried her over to the bed. "that'll never happen."

"I...I love you so much," Melinda sobbed. "It hurts so bad to think....I know you wouldn't...use...me."

"Shh," Jim gently placed her in the bed, and got in with her. He pulled her into his arms, and kissed her deeply and tenderly. "I love you too, Mel. You're scared....I know. You got scared."

"I was horrible!" Melinda sobbed, and Jim pulled her face close to his. "I kept...I just kept thinking....what if....Kyle never cared. None of them did....Kyle got mad at me because I wouldn't have sex with him. He punched me and he called me a tease."

Jim gently kissed her face and her lips. "Baby, I would never hurt you. Not like that. I know that....I know I said some things tonight that hurt you...but I would never do that. Never." He gently stroked her face. "You're...you're my girl."

"I....I'm sorry for what I said," Melinda cried. "I don't feel like you took advantage of me. I loved what we did. You made me feel so loved and so beautiful."

Jim held her tightly. "I do, and you are." He kissed her head. "You're so beautiful, Mel. I love you so much."

"I'm so sorry," Melinda continued to sob.

"Shh," Jim gently hushed her, rubbing her back lightly. "go to sleep, okay? We'll talk about all of this later. Just try to rest."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

***

A huge crackling of thunder sounded and Melinda whimpered, curling deeper into Jim's arms.

Jim held her tighter, protectively. "Shh, it's okay. You're okay." He kissed her head. "It's just a storm. We've gotten through the storms before, Mel."

Melinda nodded against him, wrapping her arms around him.

"I'm never gonna leave you, and I'm never gonna use you." Jim whispered. "You just...you've gotta let me in, babe. If I say something that hurts you or offends you, like that comment I made about your body....you just gotta talk to me. Talk to me, Mel. Don't attack me. I hate fighting with you. It hurts me like hell to think you don't trust me. It hurts even more to know that I've hurt you."

"It breaks my heart to think that you secretly think that I'm a murderer," Melinda confided quietly.

Jim looked up at her confused. "What? I don't.."

_"Yeah, Mel. I planned ALL of this!" Jim began sarcastically. "I planned for you to let your friend drive drunk," Melinda's face grew harder at that comment. "and I PLANNED for you to come out here, and show up at MY office crying your eyes out!" Jim didn't stop there though, he went in for the big kill. "You know what? I EVEN PLANNED for you to almost get RAPED! Yeah, it was all a clever ruse to get you into bed!" _

Jim's eyes saddened and they showed deep regret. "Melinda, I am so sorry. I didn't...." Jim gently touched her face. "I didn't mean it."

"You said it," Melinda's voice cracked. "You said that I 'let' him drive drunk. Let...as in allowed it to happen,"

"Melinda, I was hurt and angry." Jim sighed. "I didn't mean it."

"I don't blame you," Melinda whispered. "I did let it happen. I let him go. He'd still be here if it weren't for me."

Jim pulled her closer to him, he wished more than anything that he could just rewind the clock. She had gotten so much better dealing with what had happened. He had helped her see that it wasn't her fault, and now....because of him she's gone two huge steps back. He felt like an ass.

"Mel, I meant what I said....it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." Jim assured her gently. "Clancy made his own decision, and you couldn't have known what would happen. You didn't know he was drunk."

"I knew he'd been drinking," Melinda whispered.

"It was NOT your fault," Jim insisted firmly. "You just made a mistake. Melinda, people make mistakes. It's apart of learning and growing up."

"I hurt you," Melinda whispered. "I said awful things to you.."

Jim gently kissed her lips. "I hurt you too. I said things tonight that were way out of line. I acted like an ass. I knew something was wrong....you'd never acted like that before. I saw the hurt in your eyes, but you hurt me so much....that I just lashed back out. And that was wrong, babe. I was wrong. I made a mistake. Are you gonna hate me forever for it?"

"No," Melinda shook her head, and kissed him. "I could never hate you."

"Why?" Jim softly asked.

"Because I love you," Melinda replied.

Jim smiled gently at her, and pulled her across his lap. "I love you too, Babe. That's not what I meant though. Why would you forgive me for it?"

Melinda looked up at him. "Because you're sorry. Because I know you didn't mean to hurt me."

"Aren't you sorry too?" Jim gently pointed out. "You didn't mean to hurt Clancy or Caitlin? Or anyone back in your hometown?"

Melinda lightly chuckled, realizing his point. "Of course not."

"Then, why shouldn't you be forgiven too?" Jim gently asked. "You're sorry. You didn't mean to hurt anyone and you just made a mistake. Just like I did. It's all the same things in there. Why shouldn't you get a do-over? Another chance?"

"You make it sound so simple," Melinda whispered. "you make it sound like I just ran over her dog or something. Caitlin lost the man she loved and I'm partly responcible for that."

"In time, you're gonna see that it was an accident. And one day, you're gonna stop blaming yourself." Jim softly said.

"What makes you so sure?" Melinda softly asked. "What if I'm like this for the rest of my life? What if I'm just a constant downer to you and everyone else around me? What if one day you get sick of it, and just say 'I don't want you anymore, Melinda. I don't love you anymore, Melinda'."

"I won't say that!" Jim insisted firmly. "I could NEVER say that. I'm in love with you. It's for real and it's forever. I am not just gonna leave you, Mel. You have to quit thinking that I will. Everyone goes through sh*t, everyone has hard times. Everyone does thing that they regret, you just have to move past them. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're not the only person in this universe to have had their heart broken and stomped on repeatedly."

"I know that," Melinda softly said. "I'm not totally self-involved. I know that other people have gone through what I have."

Jim sighed. "Mel, I wasn't talking about other people. I was talking about me."

"You?" Melinda lifted her head off his shoulder to look into his eyes. She saw the seriousness, and she saw hurt. "Who hurt you?"

"I dated this girl....Nikki." Jim frowned at the memory. "We were on and off all through high school. She lied to me all the time. She....well, I knew she liked my little brother best."

"Dan?" Melinda softly said.

Jim nodded, pain still in his eyes at the memory. "Nikki....she was complicated, Mel. She was wild....and crazy. She went to parties all the time, and she would get wasted. And when she got wasted, guess who she'd call to get her out of a jam?" There was bitterness in his tone.

Sadness entered Melinda's eyes. "She used you."

Jim nodded. "Pretty much. It took a long time for me to see it though. I was always there for her. I always helped her out and I never said no. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. I told her how I felt about wanting to wait...wanting to get to know her. That I didn't just wanna have sex with her, and have it be a big mistake. She said she got that and that she felt the same way. She even told me that all the rumors about her were lies. She said she'd never had sex before either." Jim sighed. "Apparently waiting for me was a little too much for her to handle, because one day I found her in bed with my brother."

"Jim," Melinda's heart broke for him. "I'm so sorry."

There were a hint of tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall. "It hurt. It did. I punched out my brother, called him every name in the book. I was so angry with him. I could've killed him, Melinda." Jim held her a little closer to comfort him. "Nikki came around every day for six months after that. She kept saying how sorry she was, that she didn't mean to hurt me. She said that he'd seduced her....and it was a mistake. She said she loved me, not him."

"You forgave her?" Melinda realized. She felt sad for him, but she also felt alot of respect too. It takes a big man to forgive something like that. Even bigger to take someone back after being betrayed like that.

"I did," Jim nodded. "big mistake. We finished out our senior year and she said she knew she had to earn my trust again. She said she would. She said it over and over everyday 'I will earn back your trust, Jim. I'm so sorry, Jim. It meant nothing, Jim. I love you, Jim'. She said those words to me everyday. We went to collage, and I got accepted here...and she got accepted at Ohio State. We saw each other every other weekend, and things were going better. I thought maybe I could trust her again. I was trusting her again."

Melinda wrapped her arms around Jim's shoulders. "It's okay," she gently said.

Jim smiled weakly at her, greatful to have her comfort. "I went to her university one weekend. I wanted to surprise her. I went to her dorm and found her....I found her yet again in bed with my brother."

"Oh, Jim." Tears were in Melinda's eyes. She couldn't believe she never knew how hurt he'd been.

"They both tried to explain." Jim went on, bitterly. "Nikki started crying, and said how sorry she was. I was angry. I was infuriated, Mel."

"Of course you were," Melinda said softly.

"I couldn't believe that they could do this to me again. I mean," Jim laughed bitterly. "Atleast pick a new parter! I was enraged. I began screaming at the both of them, and Dan stepped infront of Nikki. He was like 'don't blame her. It's my fault' He kept saying how he tried to fight their feelings, that they both did. He said that they didn't wanna hurt me. He said that they were in love. He said that he was sorry." Jim turned to look at her with anger and sadness, though they weren't for her. "God! He just kept saying how sorry he was, and so did she! Do you have any idea how angry that made me? How much more it pissed me off?"

Melinda nodded. "I do. It's all you can do, not to beat the b*tch's ass, right?"

Jim looked at her with slight confusion and than laughed.

Melinda laughed too. "Sorry. My thing....you go ahead."

Jim looked at her and realization hit him. They'd both been through the same thing. "You were cheated on too?"

"You started," Melinda softly said. "finish your story and I'll tell you mine."

Jim gently kissed her head. "I didn't believe a word that they were saying. I slammed my brother into the wall, and I beat him up. I beat the hell out of him. I was so angry. I was very hurt. She was my girl....and she wasn't all that faithful to me to begin with." Melinda nodded in understanding. "But he was my...." Tears entered Jim's eyes. "he was my brother, Melinda! My brother!"

Melinda held him closer, and kissed his cheek. "I know, babe. I know."

"I told Nikki that she was nothing to me. I told her, to not even bother coming the next weekend to see me." Jim continued on. "We were done. I couldn't....I couldn't forgive her a second time. I didn't even want to. You forgive someone because they earn it. Because they're genuinly sorry, and because they never meant to hurt you. Maybe they didn't mean to hurt me...it didn't matter though. It hurt just the same." Jim leaned into Melinda.

"What about Dan?" Melinda gently asked. "Did you ever make peace....before he died?"

Jim nodded. "It took a long time. I came around eventually. He wouldn't leave me alone though. He came up to see me every weekend. He said how sorry he was. Than, one weekend he came up and said that Nikki had cheated on him too. And I told him, 'what goes around comes around'. And he nodded and said that I was right. He said that he wanted to get to know me again. He said that he wanted us to get to know each other again before Nikki happened. He said he knew that what he did was wrong and that I'd probably never forgive him, but he wanted the chance to get me to try."

Melinda smiled at Jim, love in her eyes for him. "You forgave him, didn't you? You forgave him a second time."

Jim nodded. "I told him that he could come up every weekend, and help me grade papers. I told him, that I promised him nothing. But if he wanted a chance, this was as close as he would get. And he did it, Mel. He came up every weekend, and he helped me grade papers. For the first eight weekends, I didn't even TALK to him. I just gave him the papers. He put up with it. He put up with the silent treatment. And the gofer like attitude that I gave him."

Melinda gently stroked the side of his face. "He took what he had coming to him."

"He did," Jim replied. "The ninth weekend, I started talking to him. It went little by little, and than we began really talking again. We got to know each other all over again. And while what he did to me hurt more than anything....he was still my baby brother, Mel. He was family. He showed me that he was genuinely sorry. He made two horrible mistakes, but he wanted to make amends for them. And he did. He became my brother again. And then I lost him," Pain was in Jim's eyes. "I lost him right when I finally got to know him again. Right when I finally forgave him."

"Oh, Jim." Tears rolled down Melinda's face.

Jim looked at her, and his heart melted at the tears in her eyes. "Don't cry for me. I forgave him, and it turned out the way that it was meant to. I don't think it's any concidence that right before he died, we were brothers again. It was a plan. It would've been worse if he died and I still hated him. It would've hurt so much worse."

"How did you forgive him?" Melinda asked softly. "I know he was your brother....but you must've been so hurt."

"The only reason I forgave him is because he was my brother," Jim admitted. "If he had just been a friend...a bestfriend that I grew up with....I wouldn't have even tried. He was family though. And I felt that I had an obligation. For mom's sake atleast."

"Thank you for sharing that with me," Melinda said sincerely and heartfelt. "I'm glad that you felt like you could trust me."

Jim gently touched her face. "I do trust you, Mel. I want you to trust me like that. I shared that with you, because I wanted you to see that I really do understand. And to show you...I'm an example of someone who's had their heart broken repeatedly. I repaired it and I moved on. You can do that too, Mel. I know you can. I have faith in you, and I'm gonna be here to see you through it. We just have to open up to each other, and together we can heal our scars."

"We can?" Melinda whispered hopefully.

Jim nodded with a warm smile. "You've already healed mine."

Melinda leaned in and kissed Jim deeply. "I'm ready to tell you my story,"

Jim pulled Melinda onto his lap, and held her against his chest. "Okay," He said softly.

"All throughout high school, I was always known as the girl who wouldn't give it up," Melinda began softly. "Every date I went out on, had to do with that. They wanted to see how far I would go...what they'd have to say...I didn't find out until later on that some of them were even bets."

Jim held her protectively and kissed her forehead. "Oh, babe."

"I was even sexually harrassed by a couple of football players....I never got to be me." Melinda explained softly. "No one saw Melinda Gordan, smart and funny. They saw Melinda Gordan, hot body. I developed some problems from that..."

"Trusting people?" Jim gently asked.

"Not just that," Melinda said. "I wanted.....I wanted all of the attention to stop. I wanted guys to stop desiring me. It was killing me. I began cutting myself."

Jim's eyes were full of deep sadness for her. "Mel,"

"I did it delibrately to make a statement," Melinda explained. "I would delibrately show off my cuts, in hopes that guys would stop wanting me. In hopes, that they would just leave me alone all together."

"It didn't work, did it?" Jim's voice was full of empathy and gentleness.

Melinda shook her head. "No, it didn't. I became known as the freak. The freaky girl....guys harrassed me EVEN more than before. So, I stopped. I realized that hurting myself clearly wasn't working. So, I tried to overdose on pain pills."

Jim gasped. "Melinda," He held her closer to him.

"It was stupid, I know." Melinda conceeded. "You just...you don't know how hard it was. To be harrassed day in and day out. After the overdose, people did leave me alone. The only person who didn't was Caitlin. She was my friend and she was there for me. Then, I met Kyle. I thought I found a good boyfriend, but I was wrong. He was always pushing me into having sex, and I wasn't ready." Melinda turned to look into his caring eyes. "I understand about how bad Nikki hurt you, because I've felt that too. When I wouldn't sleep with him after the first two months, I found him in bed with Caitlin."

Jim's eyes were wide in shock. "But? I thought she was with Clancy..."

Melinda nodded. "She was with Clancy. They had a fight, she got drunk...I guess Kyle looked like Clancy to her. Atleast that's what she claimed. She said that she was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing. It was a mistake. She wouldn't hurt me for the world....and he said the same sh*t," Melinda continued bitterly.

"All the stuff that Nikki and Dan said to me," Jim said softly. "Mel, I'm so sorry."

"I completely lost it," Melinda continued. "I went off. I got in a huge FIGHT with Caitlin. I tried to pull her hair out, Clancy had to seperate us."

Jim chuckled, and stopped when he saw Melinda glare at him. "I'm sorry, babe. It's just...it's funny picturing you trying to fight anyone."

Melinda smiled inspite of herself. "Yeah, well....I was livid. She was my bestfriend and I thought of her like a sister. I know it's not the same, and I'm not even trying...."

Jim gently kissed her head. "I get it, Mel. You thought of her like family. It hurt."

Melinda nodded. "It did. I forgave Kyle for some stupid reason. Four months later, he came around and said how sorry he was. He said he didn't realize how much he loved me until he lost me." Melinda laughed bitterly. "Such a bullsh*t line. I don't know why the hell I fell for it."

Jim gently kissed he shoulder. "Did you love him?"

Melinda shook her head. "I think I thought I did, I wanted to. It just....he never treated me half as good as you do. He never really cared about me. He just used me, just like all of them used me. He got me to..." Melinda breathed in deeply, finding it hard to speak.

Jim gently lifted her chin. "Hey," He said softly. "you can tell me anything."

"He....he made me feel guilty about not having sex with him," Melinda continued. "he....he....I'm really ashamed of this, Jim. I'm not proud of it and just thinking about it....it makes me feel dirty, sick, and unworthy."

"I can assure you that you aren't any of those things, Mel." Jim said gently. "You can trust me, I promise. I'm not gonna judge you."

Melinda smiled, remembering the last time he said that to her. "You never have."

Jim gently leaned his forehead against hers. "And I never will. So, just talk to me."

"I never had sex with him," Melinda began. "you're the first guy I ever had sex with. But, he...manipulated me into doing other things. We...we had...." Tears were forming in Melinda's eyes.

Jim saw how hard this was for her to talk about, and he kind of had an idea what she was trying to say. "Did he coerce you into having oral sex or....."

Melinda nodded tearfully. "OR."

Jim held her tighter to him. "Did he force you?" He asked her gently.

Melinda shook her head. "No. I didn't want to....."

"Did you tell him that you didn't want to, Mel?" Jim softly asked.

"I told him that I wasn't comfortable with it," Melinda admitted. "he....he said if you love me...you'll do it."

Jim sighed, feeling anger for what Kyle had done to Melinda. "That's the same thing, Mel. If you don't want to do something, and you make that known to them.....it's emotional rape. What he did to you was wrong, and I am so sorry that you went through that."

"I hated it," Melinda went on. "it was horrible, and I didn't.....I HATED it. He wanted....he wanted to have sex after that....and I said no." More tears were streaming down her face. "He got really angry and hit me."

"Oh, Melinda." Jim held more gently, wishing more than anything that he could've somehow been there.

"Things got strained after that," Melinda continued. "I made up so many excuses not to see him. He made me feel sick just to look at him in the halls. We were supposed to meet one night, and I was going to tell him that it was over."

"What happened, babe?" Jim gently asked.

"He never showed up." Melinda answered. "I was almost relieved because I was afraid of what his reaction would be. I found out later on, that he'd been arrested. Apparently, he'd been involved in some poor kid's murder. It was gang-related..." Melinda sighed. "I went to see him one time, to tell him that it was over. And I wanted nothing to do with him. That was the last time I ever saw him."

Jim gently kissed her. "Thank you for trusting me enough to open up about that. I know it wasn't easy for you."

"It wasn't," Melinda admitted. "but it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. You made it easier. You didn't....you didn't judge me just like you promised you wouldn't."

"Did you really think I would?" Jim gently asked.

Melinda shook her head. "No, not really. There's still that voice in the back of my head though...."

Jim's eyes gleamed playfully. "Maybe, we can shut it up for a little while,"

Melinda was about to ask him what he meant, but she got her answer, when he gently pushed her onto the bed, and began kissing her.

Melinda laughed. "Jim!"

Jim was settled on top of her, and then gently moved off. Melinda looked at him questionably, and then he gently moved her to settle on top of him. "I want you to always feel comfortable," Jim said softly. "I never want you to feel like....like you did then. Like something's out of your control."

Melinda looked at him softly. "I never feel that way with you."

Jim gently touched her face. "I'm glad. I just...I want you to have control too."

Melinda looked into the eyes of the wonderful man that she was in love with, and felt her heart break when she thought of how awful she'd been to him earlier. "Do you really forgive me? For all those awful things...."

Jim reached up and kissed her. "You know, I do. I understand now. I understand why you got so upset. I believe that we can be stronger together. I love you, Melinda. Do you forgive me? I was heartless to you too. I hate myself for saying what I did about Clancy..."

Melinda leaned down and kissed him. "Jim, I forgave you the second you picked me up off our bathroom floor. You came to me when I was in pain even after I'd been horrible to you. You showed me how much you love me. You opened up to me about Dan and Nikki....it meant alot to me. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I just...I have to work on some things, ya know? I have to trust you, and that's gonna be new for me."

"That's okay," Jim gently said. "That's the fun part, ya know?"

"It is?"

Jim nodded. "I'm exicted about where our relationship is. We're in love, we're sharing more with each other....being happy,"

"Having mind blowing hot sex," Melinda half joked.

Jim laughed. "Well, that too. That's awesome, don't get me wrong....but that's not all we're about."

Melinda smiled. "I know. I just love to see your reaction when I say it."

Jim laughed, and lightly swatted her arm. "Is that so?" Jim pulled her more on top of him. "How about...this reaction?"

Melinda moaned against his hardness being pressed against her center. "Mmm, I feel that too."

Jim wrapped his arms around her loosley so she was still in full control, and kissed her passionately.

Melinda moaned against him. "I really like being in control,"

Jim laughed against her. "I thought you would,"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Thanks for the awesome feedback, everyone! I never expected to go so far with this story. It means so much to me. Hope you all continue to love it, and as always review!

***

The next morning, a loud knock sounded on the door.

Jim and Melinda were in bed in the middle of a huge makeout session.

"Maybe if we just keep doing what we're doing, they'll go away." Jim suggested hopefully.

"Maybe," Melinda replied slyly, and pulled him even more on top of her.

Jim kissed her even more passionatley, holding one of her legs around his waist.

The knocking just got even louder. "C'mon," A loud female voice was heard. "It's 7 A.M., I know you guys are still in there!"

Jim groaned into Melinda's neck. "Caitlin,"

Melinda pushed at him in a jokingly playful way. "Did you just call me another woman's name in bed?"

Jim just rolled his eyes at her. "Very funny, Mel."

"Guys!" Caitlin yelled from outside. "Seriously, this is NOT easy for me! Just open up the door. I have to talk to you!"

"Ugh!" Melinda began to sit up, and Jim pushed her back down in protest. "Jim!"

"She'll go away," Jim replied, as he began kissing her neck.

The knocking continued. "Ugh! C'MON!" Caitlin yelled impatient.

Melinda laughed. "Oh, you don't know Caitlin Morgan." She pushed against him, and this time he let her. "Seriously, babe. She ain't gonna go away until she says what she wants to say."

"Alright, alright." Jim agreed, not liking it.

"The sooner we get rid of her, the sooner we can go back to doing what we were doing," Melinda added with a raise of her eyebrows in a playful, but suggestive matter.

Jim grabbed her and kissed her passionately. "You're on!"

Melinda laughed, and got up. She threw a robe on. Jim threw on a pair of pajama bottoms.

Melinda opened the door. "Caitlin," Melinda acknowleged dryly. "How may we help you?"

Caitlin looked around and saw Jim sitting on the bed, clothes were scattered everywhere. "So, you and the RA are doing it," Caitlin said casually.

Jim rolled his eyes, while Melinda just sighed. "Is that all?" Melinda replied annoyed. "You just dropped by to see if Jim and I are doing it?"

"Melinda!" Jim scolded. "Are you _trying_ to get me fired?"

"Relax," Caitlin replied, throwing her hands in the air. "If you and Jim have a sexual relationship, you have no need to fear it coming from me. I'm not here to make trouble, I'm here to make a long overdue apology."

"Apology?" Melinda narrowed her eyes at her in an untrustworthy manner.

"Please," Caitlin added. "I just need a few minutes of your guys's time."

Melinda saw the change in her eyes. She hadn't seen this Caitlin since before Clancy died. "Okay,"

Caitlin walked in the room, and Melinda shut the door.

"Seriously though, guys. If you don't want to get caught, you have to do a better job at hiding the evidence," Caitlin began in what she was trying to come off as a helpful suggestion.

"Caitlin," Jim groaned, rolling his eyes at her. "You had an apology?"

Caitlin sighed. Here came the hard part. "Yeah. Melinda, I am very sorry for how I've been treating you."

Melinda looked up, taken aback. "You are?"

Caitlin nodded. "I've been so wrong for so long. Clancy died and I couldn't handle it," She admitted, tears coming into her eyes. "I couldn't handle the hurt, the pain...." She wiped away a tear. "the tears! I couldn't handle any of that weak crap, so I turned my emotions into something else entirely. I focused my energies on you. On making you pay."

Jim came up and put his hands on Melinda's shoulders in a supportive gesture. "For taking Clancy away from you, right?" Melinda stated.

Caitlin nodded. "Yeah," she whispered. "for taking Clancy away from me."

Jim had had enough of this. "Except, she didn't TAKE him away from you!" He fumed. "It was a f*cking accident!"

"I know that NOW!" Caitlin snapped. "I'm just trying to explain where my head was at. Although, it's still no excuse for how I treated you and I what I did."

"Jim told me that you told him to come find me." Melinda said softly. "You saw what that guy did and you wanted to help me."

Caitlin nodded. "I did want to help you. I should've all along." She ran a hand through her blonde hair in frustration. "Look, don't make me out to be some kind of.....I don't know suddenly a good person or something!"

Melinda frowned. "No matter what our probelms are, Cait....you saved me."

"Jim SAVED you!" Caitlin exploded, and pointed at a stunned Jim along with Melinda at her outburst. "Jim saved you from a situation that I put you in!"

Melinda looked at Caitlin in confusion. "I...I don't understand, Caitiln. You're not making any sense."

"I...." Caitlin could feel herself about ready to chicken out, so she blurted it out. "I paid Jesse to drug your drink. I told him to hurt you."

Melinda's eyes widened in shock. She didn't say anything, she was just in full blown shock.

Jim, however was furious. "You paid that punk to attack her?!"

Caitlin slowly nodded. "I did. But you have to understand, I was...."

"Understand what?!" Jim exploded. "That you're a selfish, heartless bitch who just continues to do nothing but hurt a girl who never did anything wrong?!"

Tears were streaming down Caitlin's face. "I know what I did was wrong!" She yelled, her voice shaking along with the rest of her body. "I lost Clancy, and it's like I lost...."

"Oh, for the love of God!" Jim yelled angrily. "Stop using that ALREADY!"

"I'm not USING it!" Caitlin yelled defensively. "He was my whole world and I lost it! I LOST my world! How the hell would you feel if you lost your whole damn world, Jim?!"

Jim glared at her competely pissed off. "I did lose my whole damn world, Caitlin!" Jim yelled back. "It was alot WORSE than your little mini-drama! But, guess what?! I didn't use it as an excuse to make other people's lives MISERABLE!"

"Mini-drama?!" Caitlin fumed. "He was the love of my life! We were gonna get married!"

"Yeah, but he loved you!" Jim yelled. "You KNEW that! When he died, as sad it was, you knew that Clancy loved you. That should've been enough for you to hold on to. It should NOT have given you a reason to attack," he points to Melinda who is still in a great amount of shock. "that beautiful self-less woman over there!"

Caitlin crumbled. "I know! I know it was wrong! That's why I'm here. I have to make you understand!"

Melinda was slowly coming out of her shock, and anger was setting in. "You paid some sleaze bag to rape me because Clancy died?"

"God, Melinda! I never knew he was gonna do that!" Caitlin cried. "I just thought...."

"Thought WHAT?!" Melinda screamed. "Did you think that he was just gonna take me up to his room and call me a murderer?!"

Caitlin sighed. "No! I just....I wasn't THINKING!"

Melinda scoffed. "And THAT makes it OKAY?!"

"No!" Caitlin sighed. "I just....I wasn't thinking of the end-results! Just like you weren't thinking of the end-results when you gave Clancy his keys."

Melinda slapped Caitlin hard across the face. "Don't you DARE compare what I did to what you did!" She held her face in a tight, threatening grip. "I NEVER set out to hurt ANYONE! You did! You set out to ruin ME! Don't you even TRY to reflect blame off of yourself onto me, you selfish little bitch!"

"I'm sorry," Caitlin whispered.

Melinda just got more infuriated, and slapped her hard again. "I bet you are," She let go of her, disgusted.

Caitlin backed away from her. "I just....I have one more thing that I need to say."

Melinda glared at her and started to come forward, and Caitlin ran around to hide behind Jim. "No! Don't let her hit me again! Please!"

Jim moved away, so that Caitlin could no longer use him as a sheild. "Seriously?!" Jim glared at her, his eyes cold. "You seriously THINK that I'm gonna lift one finger to help you after you almost got my girlfriend raped?!"

Caitlin groaned. "Oh my God! That was an accident! I didn't know he was going to do that!"

"Caitlin, I have a very small retraint keeping me from kicking your ass, so say what you got to say and get the hell out." Melinda stated harhsly.

"Um Jim," Caitlin began nervously.

"What?" Jim spat coldly.

"Do you think you could maybe stand semi infront of me? Just for old-times sake?" Caitlin asked hopefully.

"What old-times sake?" Jim laughed with a roll of his eyes. "I never had a single fondness for you, and I hate you now."

Caitlin sighed. "Fine. Just don't let her murder me."

Jim just stared at her blankly. "I'm not making any promises."

"That night...Clancy's death...there's something that I kinda forgot about." Caitlin admitted.

"What would that be?" Melinda asked, losing her patience. She just wanted this bitch of an ex-bestfriend out of her dorm.

"I let him go," Caitlin blurted. "I....I knew he was drunk....and I was too tired to stop him. I knew he was going to you for his keys, and I let him go."

Jim let out a loud and bitter laugh after a few minutes. "Well, isn't this just outstanding?!" Jim sneered. "You've been blaming Melinda.....making her feel like shit....feel like less than what she is! And the whole damn time it was just as much your fault if not more!"

"No, I....I was too drunk to know what I was doi..."

Jim cut her off with more laughter. "Oh give me a break! You're always the victim, aren't you Caitlin? It's just you against the big , bad awful world!"

Melinda however, was surprisingly calm. Infact, no emotion once so ever was even written on her face. "Is there anything else, Caitlin?"

Caitlin shook her head. "Just that I'm sorry."

Melinda nodded. "Yeah, okay. I got that loud and clear. You can leave now."

Caitlin sighed. All of this had come out wrong. She needed Melinda to know that she was sorry for everything. "I need to tell you that I..."

"That you're sorry!" Melinda's face raised a slight pitch. "Yeah, I got that already. Got it loud and clear, Cait. You can feel free to go drop dead." She walked over to the door and swung it wide open. "This is your invitation to avoid me kicking your ass from here to timbuktwo!" Melinda narrowed her eyes at Caitlin. "I'd take it, if I were you."

"Melinda, please." Caitlin said softly.

"Caitlin!" Jim spoke up, coming to stand beside Melinda. "She said get out! If you don't leave, I can't be responcible for what she does to you. For what you pretty much deserve."

Caitlin just let out a sigh, and turned to leave. Not wanting them to see her tears.

Melinda slammed the door behind her. "Good riddence," Melinda grumbled.

Melinda walked over to the closet, and quickly put a sun-dress on, and threw on her flip-flops.

"Where are you going?" Jim asked her concerned.

"I need some air," Was all Melinda said before walking out the door, slamming it behind her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

***

Somehow, she'd ended up here.

Melinda still didn't quite understand it herself. She knew that this was the last place she needed to be when she was pissed off.

She always made self-destructive decisions like this. She should've gone somewhere....anywhere, but here.

Yet, here she was.

Melinda Gordan was sitting in a bar, staring at her shot of whiskey, wondering what the hell had possessed her to drive all the way out here.

Her thoughts were interuppted, when she felt her phone vibrate. She picked it up, and the caller Id read, "Jim".

She sighed, and placed it back in her purse. She didn't wanna talk right now. She didn't wanna do anything, but drink it all away.

"I'd ask if I could buy you a drink, but you clearly already have one."

Melinda looked up, and her eyes met with a complete stranger. "Nice observation." She replied sarcastically.

"Can I get you another one?" A young guy politely asked, although the way he was looking at her, suggested something else entirely.

Melinda just glared at him. "I already have one. You said so yourself, Sparky. So, why don't you go hit on some other girl?"

"Well, it clearly must suck," The guy replied. "And the name's Dean."

"What?" Melinda asked, taken aback.

"The drink," Dean replied. "The drink must suck, or it would be downed by now."

"You been stalking me?" Melinda retorted, a hint of amusement in her eyes. She knew guys like this. Always hinting around for any reason to get a girl to fuck him.

"I wouldn't say stalking," Dean replied with a hint of a smile. "more like admiring."

Melinda laughed. "Admiring! Well, that's a new one." She stood up, went really close to him, her face inches from him. "And what exactly were you admiring, Dean?"

Dean looked her over appriciatively. "You're fucking hot," He replied bluntly.

Melinda smiled at him, taking a step back. She picked up her shot of whiskey and threw it in his face in one quick instant. "And you're fucking horny! Grow up, frat boy."

Dean stalked up to her, grabbing her arm roughly. "You stupid bitch!"

Melinda rolled her eyes. "Oh, let go of me you over-sexed pig! Move on!"

Dean saw everyone staring and let go of her arm. "Okay." He said calmly. "I suppose I deserved that. Why don't you let me buy you a drink?"

Melinda laughed. "Still coming back for more, are you? What are you, a martyer?"

Dean just smirked. "I could be the answer to your prayers, baby."

Melinda just rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. You can buy me a drink, but you're not getting anything out of me. I'm already committed."

Dean walked her up to the bar. "What's your poison?"

"Vodka, straight up." Melinda replied.

The drink was placed in front of her, and she downed it in one quick motion.

Dean smiled. "Impressive. I like a chick who can handle her alcohol."

"That's not all I can handle," Melinda replied. "I'll take another one."

About seven glasses later, to say that Melinda Gordan was wasted would be a total understatement.

She was leaning against the bar counter. "Oh, wow! To say that I am feeling soooo much beeeter," She laughed hysterically. "would be a complete understa..understa..."

Dean just smirked at her amused. "Understatement?"

Melinda looked at him like he had two heads. "That's what I said!"

Dean just nodded, appeasing her. "Uh-huh. Well, hot chick...you wanna get out of here?"

Melinda looked up at him, and without warning she pulled his face down to hers, kissing him hard and passionately.

At that moment, Jim walked in. After about fifty times of calling her, and twenty textes, he wanted to make sure she was alright.

His heart completely stopped when he saw his girl in the arms of some other guy, kissing him. Kissing him, the way she always kissed him. To say that he saw red, would be a complete understatement.

Jim just stood there. He couldn't believe she could do this to him. A thousand reasons were going through his head. Excuses to make this okay....because no matter how pathetic it made him...he didn't wanna lose her.

Melinda pulled back, and searched his eyes. Reality was suddenly hitting her, even through her drunken state.

What the hell was she doing? She used to do this shit back in high school. She used to get wasted and just make out with anyone to make all the pain go away. She didn't need to do that anymore, she had Jim.

Jim! Melinda groaned, feeling her head already start to hurt. "Oh, god. I can't do this." Then, more to herself. "What was I thinking?"

"What?" Dean asked.

"This!" Melinda said more urgently, motioning between the two of them. "This is bad! Wrong! This is the old me!"

Dean smirked at her. "Well, I think I'm in love with the old you."

Melinda hit his arm. "You're not in love with shit, okay? You're an over-sexed frat boy."

"And your a wild, sex kitten." Dean smiled. "Lets move on, shall we?"

"No!" Melinda replied outraged. "Just move along, Dean. This," she points between them. "ain't gonna happen."

"I bet if I got you a few more vodkas, it could happen," Dean smirked.

"Get lost!" Melinda yelled.

"Oh, c'mon, baby..." Dean moved closer to her, but backed off when he saw an angry guy step closer to them.

Jim had moved closer when he started hearing her yell at him. He was really getting pissed off that this guy wouldn't leave his girl alone. "I think my girl told you to beat it," Jim said darkly.

"Hey, she never said she belonged to somebody!" Dean stuttered.

Melinda narrowed her eyes. "I belong to no one, thank you very much! And what did you think the word 'committed' meant?"

"I figured it was just a come on." Dean shrugged, and saw Jim's eyes darken even more. "And I'm so out of here." He staggered backwards, before running out the door.

Melinda turned to Jim, her eyes softening. Regret clear, in her eyes. "How...how much did you...?"

"Why?" Jim asked, his voice hard. "Trying to figure out which lie to tell me?"

"No!" Melinda replied. "I just...Jim, I..."

Jim just glared at her angrily. "I saw you kiss him, okay? Infact, it looked like you were ready to do a little more than kiss him."

"Jim, I..."

"What? Are you really gonna stand here and lie to my face? Tell me that it wasn't what it looked like?" Jim continued. "You were all over him."

"I..." Melinda sighed weakly. "I was drunk."

Jim let out a hard laugh. "Ha! You were drunk," He repeated slowly. "Taking a page out of Caitlin's book, are we Melinda?"

Melinda gasped, and then glared at him. "That is not fair, Jim!"

Jim nodded. "Oh, I see. You feel like I'm being unfair to you?"

Melinda nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, how's this for fairness, Mel?" Jim continued. "You take off, don't tell me where you're going. Which is fine by the way! I'm not your fucking keeper, but I am your boyfriend! You could've atleast answered my call! For all I knew you were dead somewhere!"

Melinda looked down.

Jim smiled bitterly, masking his pain. "But no need for me to worry, right? You were here. At this bar. The first place I ever held you in my arms at, getting ready to go fuck some other guy behind my back!"

"No, that is not true!" Melinda yelled. "Yes, I made a mistake!"

"Oh, how big of you to admit that." Jim replied sarcastically. "Because I thought I was the one who made all the mistakes in this relationship. I mean, you made me feel like I was just the scum of the earth when I commented your body. You actually almost made me feel like I had taken advantage of YOU!" Jim laughed bitterly. "If I'd only known how easily you just seem to give it up,"

Melinda slapped Jim across the face hard. "How dare you?!"

Jim held his face. "How dare I?"

"Who do you think you are, talking to me this way?!" Melinda yelled.

"I thought I was your boyfriend!" Jim yelled. "I thought that you and I were in this whole thing together!"

"We were! We are!" Melinda shouted.

Jim smirked at her. "I know I'm like your first real relationship or so you claim," Melinda's eyes grew more furious. "but in the world of dating, fucking other people...it ain't admissable!"

"I know it's NOT!" Melinda screamed. "Kyle did that to me, and Nikki did that to you!"

"Who knew you'd turn out to be just like her?" Jim spat.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Thanks for the awesome feedback, guys! I wasn't sure how their fight would go over with you guys, but I felt it was realistic for Jim to extreamly pissed at Mel. I'm glad you all love it. Enjoy!

***

"Oh!" Melinda ran a hand over her face. "I did NOT screw your brother mutiple times behind your back! I kissed one guy! One time! I knew it was wrong, and I broke it off!"

"You shouldn't have kissed him to begin with!" Jim yelled. "If you're gonna be with me, then you have to BE with me!"

"I was with you!" Melinda shouted. "I am with you!"

"Well, forgive me Mel...but you sticking your tongue down some other guy's throat doesn't really look like you're with me, to me." Jim stated.

"I'm sorry, Jim." Melinda sighed. "I'm so sorry. That kiss though...it was as far as it would've went."

Jim was beginning to calm down. He hated being this angry with her, but seeing her kiss some other guy nearly destroyed him. He couldn't go down that road again.

"How do I know that, Mel?" Jim asked softly. "How do I know that you wouldn't have left here with him?"

"Because I'm in love with you," Melinda replied. "I could never crawl into someone else's bed if I weren't in love with them. That's why..."

"Why, what?" Jim asked softly.

Melinda felt tears sting her eyes. "I used...I used to do this type of thing, okay? I used to get really wasted and makeout with random strangers. Anything to erase the pain of what I was feeling. To erase the emptiness in my life. But I never...I never went that far with them. I couldn't....because I knew deep down there was someone else that gift was meant for. That someone else was you, Jim Clancy."

Jim was beginning to smile, but still needed to know one more thing. "Why couldn't you do it this time? You already gave yourself to me."

"After I kissed him...I realized that what that was....it was the old me. The me, that I never want anything to do with ever again. The screwed up, freak who cut her arms and drank and did anything to get rid of the pain. I couldn't be her anymore." Melinda took a deep breath. "I didn't need to be her anymore. I have you now."

Jim reached his hand out to hers, and she took it, there fingers entertwining. "Mel, I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," Melinda said, and than sighed. "It's not really okay. Comparing me to your slutty ex kinda broke my ego... but, I get it. You've been hurt alot. You've trusted people and given second chances, and they hurt you. I hurt you tonight."

"You did," Jim replied. "and I don't forgive you."

Melinda let go of his hand. "Jim, I made a mistake."

"Yeah, those are the same words that Nikki said to me. And look how that turned out," Jim replied, his voice hard.

"I am not Nikki," Melinda cried.

"I trusted you," Jim replied. "I trusted you to keep my heart safe. I told you how much they hurt me....I told you, how much Dan had to go through to get me to even talk to him again. It's like....the minute Caitlin pissed you off...instead of opening up to me, you ran. You ran from me, and back to your old way of life. How can I be sure you won't do that to me again?"

"Because I love you!" Melinda shouted.

"They're just words, Mel." Jim said softly. "They're empty words that don't mean anything to me....that don't show me anything! You want me to believe you love me, than start acting like you do."

"What can I do?" Melinda asked. "I'll do anything, Jim. I love you, I can't lose you."

"I love you, Melinda." Jim replied with a sad smile. "That's why this hurts so damn much. No matter how much I love you, I will not let you do this to me. You're either with me, or you're not. Make your choice. If I'm not what you want, than it'll break my heart, sure...but I can take it. I'll still be your friend. I'll always be your bestfriend. But I can't take THIS."

"Tell me what to do," Melinda repeated brokenly.

"I can't tell you what do do," Jim said softly. "Do what's in your heart."

"You're in my heart!" Melinda replied, tears in her eyes. "You are! I can't...."

Jim sighed, and pulls her into his arms, holding her against his chest. "Shh, breathe." He feels her shaking in his arms, gently rubs her back. "Just breathe, Mel."

"I can't lose you," Melinda cried. "I love you,"

"You can't lose me as what?" Jim gently asked her. "You can't lose your bestfriend or you can't lose your boyfriend? Which is it?"

"All of it," Melinda said softly. "Your the center of my whole freakin universe. You're the man that I'm in love with and if I lose that...I don't know that I could live. You're the air that I breathe."

Jim sighed. She was breaking his heart. He didn't like being so mean to her. He didn't want to leave her. He was trying to protect what was left of his heart.

"Melinda, am I what you want? Is this what you want?" Jim asked her.

Melinda pulled back to look into his eyes. "You are all I want. I know I hurt you, and I'm so sorry."

"I'll give you another chance, but you have to prove to me that you deserve it. You can't do this to me again. You can't keep running away and I can't keep chasing after you." Jim stated. "You're either with me, or you aren't."

"I'm with you," Melinda whispered. "Just give me a chance."

"Okay," Jim took her hand in his. "lets go home, huh?"

Melinda stopped, taking her hand out of his.

"What?" Jim asked with a frown. Was she already backing out on him?

"I've never had a home before," Melinda said softly.

"What about your mom? Before Clancy...?" Jim asked.

"That wasn't really my home," Melinda said. "I spent maybe four hours there a day at most. Some nights, I didn't come home at all. It depended which boyfriend of hers was there,"

"Melinda," Jim was looking at her with such compassion that it was making more tears stream down her face.

"I've never had a home before," Melinda repeated. "most times I had to beg her to even let me sleep there. It didn't exactly make her look all that attractive if her stupid kid was there." Melinda let out a small sob. "And then, I met you. You just...you let me stay with you. I didn't even have to beg you. In that instant, you became my home. And now, I could...I could lose that. All of that, because of my stupid mistakes!"

"Melinda," Jim stepped closer to her. "I would never throw you out. I could never do that to you."

"Why not?" Melinda cried. "It's what I deserve."

"Mel," Jim gently held her face in his hands. "I said alot of things earlier that I didn't mean. It hurt so bad to see you with that guy. It hurt even more that you just walked out on me, and didn't return my calls. I was so mad at you, baby. No matter how mad I was or may become at you...I would never turn you away. I love you."

Melinda just stared at him brokenly. "I don't deserve your love," She broke out of his grasp and ran out of the bar.

"Melinda," Jim sighed, fighting an inner battle with himself. If he went after her right now, he would be going against everything he'd just told her. But if he didn't go after her..."Damnit," Jim ran out of the bar, after Melinda.

Jim ran to the door and almost knocked Melinda over. "Mel?"

"Hey," Melinda said quietly.

"You came back," Jim said softly.

"I shouldn't have run out the way that I did. Yet again," Melinda frowned. "I love you, and I know I have to show that to you. I have alot to prove, and...well, me running away again doesn't show you how much I love you. It just shows you how scarred and weak I am."

Jim gently touched her face. "You're not weak. You came back,"

"You're right though," Melinda continued hurriedly. "I can't keep running away from you. I'm gonna try to let you in. I don't want to lose you. I know that I don't deserve you, but I want you anyway."

Jim quickly pulled her into his arms. "You do deserve me, Mel. It means alot that you came back. It shows me that you're serious. That you want me to trust you again. That you want to trust me."

Melinda clung to him. "I already trust you....I just don't know if I trust that your feelings will last forever. I've never put much stock in forever," She confided quietly.

Jim gently pulled back to look into her eyes. "Tell ya what, if you put your heart into forever, I'll put mine in, okay? We'll do this together."

"What if it doesn't work? What if you stop loving me one day?" Melinda asked.

"What if you do?" Jim countered.

"I won't," Melinda said firmly.

"Neither will I," Jim replied softly. "We just have to trust each other. Can you meet me half way?"

Melinda nodded. "I have to. My whole heart depends on it."

Jim leaned in and kissed her deeply, and than pulled back. "So...I'm the better kisser, right?"

Melinda smiled, he was her Jim again. "You always have been,"

Jim nodded. "I'm still mad at you though,"

"I know," Melinda replied. "I'm mad at me too."

"Well, as long as we're in agreement." Jim half-smiled. "C'mon, I'll take you home. And no matter what happens, you're always gonna have a home. You never have to feel like that again."

Melinda leaned into him. "I know, but thanks for saying it,"

Jim kissed the top of her head. "We'll figure the rest out in the morning. We'll make it work, someway, somehow. Cause, I'm not willing to lose you."

Melinda looked up at him, a tear rolling down her face. "Me neither,"


End file.
